Stories and News No. 784
It seems that in a cave near Johannesburg, South Africa, a group of scientists have found more than 1,500 remains of bones of individuals belonging to a new species.
Here is an exclusive press release by the team:
We made the discovery of the century.
What am I saying? More than that, let’s exaggerate this time because the occasion requires it.
This is the greatest exploit of all time, no jokes.
We found a new species.
It seems to be one of us, but we cannot be so sure.
Let's just say that none of us would risk a single fragment of the fingertip, but we're not here to play, after all.
The moment is solemn, gosh.
Because this new species, which may be one of us but wait to say it, is really new.
Looking at the fossils and after a careful spectrographic analysis of the longitudinal enzymes through cuneiform catheters - it is useless explain this, we are scientists, not you, we understand a lot of the little guy.
Yes, you got it, the old man was not a top.
The enzymes also told us that the new species was really new and very different from the rest of us.
Between a sliver of sacrum and the remains of a wisdom tooth we found that he never would have dreamed of kicking a fellow on the run with children in his arms chased by a hysterical velociraptor.
Or even on the run and that's it.
The new species was well aware that the walls were used to support the ceiling of the cave to become the paper to write stories on, never to prevent the transit.
And when you know that the place where you shelters each night and leave traces of the life you lived are both a gift of nature, anything but your stuff, you will not prevent anything to anyone.
The new species did not live far, it must be said.
That is why the time was the only real wealth, as well as a mysterious scent that was extracted from a rare specimen of a mammoth-sighted. Because everybody knows this, even the uninitiated like you: the mammoth is shortsighted at its best. In fact there is in the world none photo of the mammoth-sighted, I challenge you to deny it.
It seems that the scent was a powerful aphrodisiac that would warm the cave throughout the Ice Age, if you know what I mean.
Anyway, time was really the most valuable currency.
The new species did not want to lose it.
That's why he'd never have paid attention to other coat’s color, the way others worshiped the sun or whether or not they were trying to bring it down with a spear, how many seconds people could find shelter during a hailstorm, and maybe wondering if the dude had suddenly moved in an upright position because of the evolution stuff or simply because he sat on an angry porcupine.
In addition to the walls, the new species did not know many other things, but there is one he never forgot.
Life is short and it is too good to waste it with the nonsense.
And it is much, believe me.
Because we scientists have discovered an extraordinary creature.
He seems to be one of us, but the doubt remains.
Because we have the impression that this new species is really…
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