Thursday, April 2, 2009
Stories and News No. 22: Here you can do from behind too!
Somewhere, after the death:
Jesse took the newspaper for his usual read. Well, yes, they read the newspaper too. Besides, they have time...
The news was on the front page!
The man did not believe in his eyes. Yeah, eyes. The whole body goes there. You might ask: “What about the soul?” No soul, that's an invention of the living.
Jesse was breathless when his brain realized how many dollars the Philip Norris would have to pay to his wife...
Inevitably a tear flew away from his right eye, the one with the tic.
Yes, there you will loose all your infirmities, stay calm, but the tics remain. They are the trade mark, as your favourite football team and your secret vices.
Suddenly a voice called him behind his shoulders: “Mr William? Is everything fine?”
Jesse turned his head and saw the angel.
“It’s okay,” he said, “I feel good. I'm just happy...”
“I’m glad to hear it," the other said, putting on him his dark eyes.
Another surprise, I imagine. The angels are not blond and with blue eyes, but they have brown skin and with very long beards. It’s logic. First, being so close to the sun they are tanned since the beginning of time. Second, cutting objects are not allowed there, so they cannot shave. There, you can’t cut the steak too, but that is irrelevant now.
Jesse sighed, and, despite he passed in 1997, he knew a little more than nothing of that place. Then he asked something he had never dared to do: “Hey ... forgive me, but it's stronger than me. Could I smoke a cigarette? A little one…”
“Sure,” the angel replied, opening his bag and immersing one hand in it. “Mr William, you spend too much time reading newspapers and watching TV. Do you prefer light cigarettes, don’t you?"
Jesse had his eyes out of the orbits: “What? Can we smoke here?”
“Certainly, here you can do everything you want. Ops, not everything… The sharp objects...”
“I know. I know this. But can we smoke?”
“I said yes, Mr. William! Here there are no prohibitions. And how can we prevent something? We cannot make you scared about what will happen after. You’re already dead...”
“Cool! What about stealing?”
“Well, why do you want to steal something if you can do everything?”
"Yeah, it's true. What about the sins? What happens to me if I commit impure acts?”
“What do impure acts mean?”
“Don’t you know?! What kind of angel are you? Impure acts, like the sodomy, for example...”
“Sodomy? What is it? A disease?”
“No... sodomy, the anal sex...”
“Are you saying… from behind?”
“Mr William, I don’t know how can I make you understand. Here you can do that from behind, above and below, each position you like. How you prefer to feel good it’s your business and you will never be disturbed, because everyone is doing the same, so all people have no time to think about the others. You can smoke; here you can do whatever you want with your body, because you’re already dead. Except fart when you’re not alone. Did you see the notices?”
“Yes, of course. Wow. If I had known it when I was alive, I would have lived with less feelings of guilt...”
“I see. As we say, while death exists, there is hope...”
From Dailymail, 01st April 2009: Smoker's widow wins $155m compensation after ten-year battle with tobacco giant.
A widow whose husband died of lung cancer has won a $155million court battle with cigarette maker Philip Morris - ten years and a day after a jury first awarded her damages.
Mayola Williams stands to collect between $60 million and $65 million from a pot that has grown to more than $155 million because of accrued interest.
The U.S. Supreme Court threw out the tobacco firm's appeal, frustrating business interests that had hoped the court would set constitutional limits on damages awarded by juries.
The case has bounced around appellate courts since shortly after Williams prevailed, on March 30, 1999, in the claims of fraud she pursued on behalf of her late husband, Jesse, a long time smoker.
Jesse Williams was a janitor in Portland who started smoking during the 1950s and died in 1997, six months after he was diagnosed with lung cancer.