Monday, May 31, 2010

Israeli killed 16 Freedom Flotilla activists: am I anti-Semitic if I disapprove?

Stories and News No. 183

All the newspapers in the world are telling the news that about 16 people died under the bullets of Israeli soldiers who intercepted a ship, the Blue Marmara Ship (Marmara Mavi Gemisi) belonging to the Freedom flotilla made up by some international NGOs under the leadership of the Free Gaza Movement.
Aboard these ships there are activists and humanitarian workers from all over the world, parliamentarians, UN officials, journalists, etc.
This is not the first time that the Free Gaza Movement organize these trips (the debut there was in August 2008) to bring medicines, food and any type of support to the victims, I repeat again, the victims of this occupation.
Because that one is an occupation.
Think that those troublemakers of United Nations called a crime against humanity.
What will happen now?
The worst consequence is terrible and I don’t wants to mention.
The best we can practically and cynically expect - never corresponding to a fair and honest hope - is that everything will remain as it was before:
Israel will say that its soldiers fired in self-defense, because they were attacked by some terrorists infiltrated on the ship.
In other words, the Israelis have the right to defend, and so on.
Governments, politicians and good-thinking people all over the world once again will support this thesis.
And who will still try to challenge even a thousandth of the latter will be accused of being anti-Semitic

The Story:

Am I anti-Semitic if I think it is inhumane to leave 30,000 people without water?

Am I anti-Semitic if I consider cruel to allow 100,000 more to have it only every two or three days?

Am I anti-Semitic if I define a crime to kill more than 300 children for defending?

Am I anti-Semitic if I think that to endanger the health of one million and half people is an injustice?

Well, if so, then so are the United Nations, the World Health Organization, the International Committee of the Red Cross and many other 'terrorist' organizations like these...

PS: Oh, I forgot that to complete the script it remains this: "Hamas is accountable. Israel has right to defend…"

The video of the 'defending' attack:




Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.

Our son was born, Saturday June 5 2010, Storytelling in Rome.

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Friday, May 28, 2010

Top Kill stops BP oil spill: does it stop fascist spill too?

Stories and News No. 182

"They say I have power, but I have not. Maybe my hierarchs have, but not me. I can only decide to get my horse to the right or left, but nothing else."
These words were uttered yesterday by Silvio Berlusconi, which he attributed them to Benito Mussolini.
Now, aside from the fact that according to me, also the horse broke its balls and who is taking him back is Emilio Fede, I think that this latest grotesque speech to the international audience of our Prime Minister completes the puzzle..
It is a disturbing picture.
We joke, but here the situation is becoming more serious day by day.
Therefore, forgive me if I disguised my feelings with irony and zany inventions but I never found a better way to convey what passes in my belly…

The Story:

Letter to the Government of the United States of America.

Dear Obama,
first of all I want to express my sympathy to you and especially to your fellow citizens who have been affected by the terrible misfortune of a leak of oil in the Gulf of Mexico.
I read today that BP, through the Top Kill plan, should finally have been able to stop the oil spill.
I am very pleased and I really hope it works, because in this case, I have an important request to you.
Many history books, often emphasized by Italian right governments, told that your intervention in World War II to liberate us from Nazi-Fascism was crucial.
I don’t want here to discuss whether your initiative has been really driven by the desire to free us or not, in my humble opinion I think that our country has been released from Nazi domination, but that fascism has never been truly defeated.
With this I'm not asking you to plan yet another peace mission to invade Italy and restore democracy.
It could be logic, I can understand, but after the recent examples, I hope it won’t happen.
Maybe, if it were to be confirmed as winner, could you lend us this Top Kill and allow us to stop our black spill, which even today, since the end of Second World War, continues to besmirch our land and its history?
We don’t deserve a Prime Minister who before the world press impunity compared himself to the dictator that has almost destroyed our country.
We do not deserve to see the name of our nation being continually put near those of countries which are under effective dictatorship.
We don’t deserve a government of politicians who are the highest paid in the world and live as demigods.
I’m talking about everyone of them.
Because if you get ten thousand euros per month excluding the cost, you can speak of the fucking crisis you like, but until you halve your salary, right or left, for me they are all the same.
Am I indifferent or an anti-politics guy? No, I only show elementary good sense in not wanting to be fucked.
We don’t deserve another law that cuts the legs of the judges and press to encourage mafia gangsters and especially their friends.
We don’t deserve national TV news so, I repeat, so partisan.
A few days ago, someone commented my post by saying that we deserve these politicians, because everyone has the government that deserves.
I don’t accept it.
I didn’t vote these people, none of them.
Many people and I do not deserve this fascist spill.


Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.

Our son was born, Saturday June 5 2010, Storytelling in Rome.

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Thursday, May 27, 2010

Abolition of 10 Italian provinces? No, a joke to Bossi

Stories and News No. 181

Today I propose you three weights and three measures.
Indeed, three weights and two measures, since only one is different.
If Elio Germano, accepting the award for best actor at Cannes, dedicated it to Italy and Italians who do everything to make the best Italy, despite their leaders, he receives criticism from the government in the person of Minister for Arts and Cultural Activities Sandro Bondi: "I was disappointed... he was inappropriate."
If Daniele De Rossi, Roma and the Italian National Team footballer, expressing his opinion on the fan’s card says: "The ultras are a positive part of the football stadium. Who goes there with the knife is not a soccer hooligan but a disturbed person like is a cop who kicks an innocent kid, while nobody protests. Then we should create the cop’s card... ", here comes the timely disapproval by Minister Roberto Maroni: "I do not agree what De Rossi says. He’s not an ordinary person, he is a National soccer player and should not send negative messages. We try to send positive messages..."
If Umberto Bossi, Minister for Reforms to federalism, dealing with the possible abolition of ten Italian provinces with fewer than 220,000 inhabitants, screams: "If they touch Bergamo we start civil war," what happens?
Is there criticism? Yellow card? Any disapproval?
None.
Indeed, the proposed abolition of the provinces disappears from the site of the Ministry of Economy and Minister Giulio Tremonti quick denies it as false news.
It’s better to write stories…

The Story:

Once upon a time there was a country we can call even Italy, but is not essential.
So all understand what it is.
In the country I can call Italy but is not required there were two wags, dedicated since childhood to make jokes: Silvio and Giulio.
Both had great careers.
One became Prime Minister and the other Minister of Economy, probably the biggest hoax in the history of their country, whose name I don’t say because, as explained at the beginning, is not indispensable.
According to the law of the joke, a mockery - to be effective - needs a victim, of a target to rage on.
The ideal person is someone who impulsive reacts and possibly angry.
Silvio and Giulio found Umberto.
Even the latter had managed to reach high goals.
He became Minister too.
If any of you knew him would say that his success is an even bigger joke than the other two...
I said, Silvio and Giulio had targeted him and perfectly understood what key to press on.
One day Silvio said in a press conference: "Barbarossa was an overrated character..."
A few hours later Umberto said: "If someone tarnishes the brave Barbarossa we go at Arcore to make a mess!"
The next day National TV Rai started to produce a film about Barbarossa.
Another day Giulio called the reporters and said: "A Talk show in Rai by Padania journalists? It would be a resounding flop."
Umberto's reaction was not long coming: "If he insults our reporters we go Giulio’s home to fire it!"
The next day it was announced a new entry into the Rai Programs schedule of a Padania talk show.
Another day on the website of the Ministry of Economy the news about abolition provinces, that you know, appeared.
As the Umberto’s reaction and Giulio’s change are also known.
I guess now someone will stand up asking: where is the joke of Silvio and Giulio if Umberto gets angry and obtains everything he wants?
Well, it means that Umberto is not the real victim…



Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.

Our son was born, Saturday June 5 2010, Storytelling in Rome.

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Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Berlusconi and Tremonti quarrel on taxes? No, sex story

Stories and News No. 180

But really is there someone in Italy who believes that Berlusconi was contrary to Minister Tremonti taxes increase?
I am serious.
Does anyone think that an irritated Berlusconi said to Tremonti: Giulio, but you are going to increase the taxes...?!
No, because if so, it means that someone is even crazier than people among the Germans who sent the Nazis to the government.
Well, because at least those wretches persons can say they could not predict everything that Hitler subsequently combined.
But those who voted and continues to believe to the words of our Prime Minister should be early interned.
For this reason, after listening to his fascinating theories about the alleged sex stories between Silvio and Fini, Putin, ex Minister Scajola and Massimo Ciancimino... - no, not him, I can only ask a comment by the famous American sexologist Lisa Pointgee, that on my advice also created his personal Blog...

The Story:

A: Dr. Pointgee, I saw with pleasure that, on my advice, you created a Blog.
L: Yes, I confirm.
A: Thank too to call me your friend. Now can I call you just Lisa?
L: Relax, don’t exaggerate. As we sexologists say, we give you a nipple and you grab both our tits...
A: I never heard of...
L: Are you a sexologist?
A: No...
L: Exactly. What do we want to talk about today?
A: Well, since you always follow our politics, let me know your opinion on the alleged dispute between Berlusconi and Tremonti around their recent economic measures with sacrifices very hard. Do you think that among the two there has really been a quarrel?
L: Oh, I am pleased to get this request. Between Berlusconi and Tremonti there is no dispute, but a dynamic undoubtedly of a sexual nature.
A: No... really?
L: Yes. This staging pantomime on villain Tremonti who wants to tax the Italians and the good Berlusconi who disapproves is clearly a textbook case.
A: What case?
L: The so-called Anal Measures, which arguably requires hard sacrifices. The Latin definition is Analysis Penetratio Ipocritus.
A: What is that?
L: It means the hypocrite of anal penetration.
A: Would that mean that the sexual dynamic that lies behind the dispute occurs in anal relation?
L: Definitely.
A: Let's see if I understand: Tremonti is the active subject and Berlusconi, the hypocrite, rejected the measures but in reality he wishes it?
L: No.
A: Then Tremonti is the passive subject and Berlusconi, always hypocrite, pretends to be passive and instead he’s active?
L: No.
A: Tremonti is the hypocrite?
L: No, you are completely off the road.
A: Please explain, because I'm confused ...
L: You’re wrong. You should be very anxious, not confused.
A: Why?
L: Simple. In this Anal Measures Tremonti and Berlusconi are both the hypocrites and active subjects.
A: Who is the passive one?
L: You and all your fellow citizens…




Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.

Our son was born, Saturday June 5 2010, Storytelling in Rome.

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Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Sacrifices plan? First parliamentary salary

Stories and News No. 179

I know and I state that this is a trite post.
However, I believe that in my country we are so used to the injustices that it became normal, obvious.
In other words, trite.
So, why we all sixty million don’t agree on what is trite?
All the newspapers announced that Berlusconi government, following other countries, is preparing to implement a plan of cuts and sacrifices very hard.
President Napolitano calls for equitable sacrifices, made with sense of responsibility.
I think he’s right.
I want to comment how politicians do when the president speaks: "Napolitano as always showed great sense of State and high moral quality."
I share his words, and since we must make sacrifices, I ask the opinion of our fellow citizen, who lives on a salary - to its minimum - on average ranges from 270 to 590 euros per month...

The Story:

My name is Paul and I am fifty years old.
I am farm worker and for my job I receive 590 euros per month.
I'm not complaining.
I'm lucky because I could earn even less.
I've heard on television today that due to the crisis we have to make very hard sacrifices.
That news doesn’t especially hit me.
Hard sacrifice is the soundtrack of my life.
So I'm not complaining.
I might even be one of the unemployed two million Italians.
I also heard that the President has requested equitable sacrifices.
That’s right.
It’s what I do at home.
When you need to save the first cut is the unnecessary part.
My wife and I have a life of cutting.
But I'm not complaining.
I could be an insecure working young who stays in a call center, earning less than me.
If we need to make sacrifices, I made small little bill.
I was ever clever with numbers, my mother often said.
In the Italian Parliament the deputies are 630.
Excluding allowances on expenses, telephone calls and others, each one of them gains 5,486.58 euros per month, adding a so-called Diaria of 4,003.11 euros per month more.
The result is 9,489.69 euros per month.
An Algerian farm worker friend of mine - that in his country graduated in economics, told me that in France the deputies gain 5,180 euros per month.
Now, since we have a debt of 1,800 billion and that the French one is much smaller, it seems fair to begin to cut the salaries of Italian parliamentarians, at least comparable to that of the French.
There would be a saving of 4,309.69 euros for every deputy.
Multiplying by 630 we have 2 million and 715,104 euros per month.
In one year we could get 32 million euros and 581,256.4.
If Berlusconi government asks for sacrifices I’m ready.
There is a crisis, but I’m not complaining.
I could live in countries much more poor than mine, as my friend from Algeria knows.
But if my politicians don’t start to cut by their salaries I'm not complaining.
I am angry…



Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.

Our son was born, Saturday June 5 2010, Storytelling in Rome.

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Monday, May 24, 2010

Elio Germano from Cannes: Italians better than politicians

Stories and News No. 178

"Since our leaders always complain that the filmmakers speak ill of their country, I dedicate this award to Italy and the Italians who do everything to make the best for Italy, despite their leaders."
With these words yesterday Elio Germano received the award for best actor at Cannes, ex aequo with Javier Bardem.
The fearless Augusto Minzolini and his heroic Tg1 (Italian most important tv news) have cut the message under a technical hitch, but now it’s a classic and doesn’t merit even half post.
The most interesting thing is the comment by Germano.
His viewpoint is hard.
In essence, the just celebrated actor argues that our politicians don’t work to improve the country but rather hinder the people who do.
Do you think it is possible?

The Story:

It’s not possible...
Italy is a founding member of European Union and participated in all the main treaties of unification of the continent, including the entry in the Euro zone in 1999.
Furthermore, it is also a founding member of NATO, Council of Europe and the Western European Union, joined the United Nations and is part of the G7, G8 and OECD.
Are we kidding or what?
Do we want to suggest that the leaders of such great country are worst than its inhabitants?
Can we say that in Italy there are more sincere people than Silvio Berlusconi?
Women and men whose word is his most reliable?
Most credible of the Prime Minister?!
Come on, let's be serious.
If we had to believe to an actor - because even if awarded at Cannes, we're always talking about an actor, not a democratically elected deputy with the votes of Italians, then this would mean that in our country there are smarter people than Maurizio Gasparri.
Do you really think this is probable?
But how many people there will be more intelligent than Gasparri?
Sure, I could also mention Minister Roberto Calderoli, at random, but it’s the same.
Let's stop with this paradoxical defeatism.
We are Italy, a nation which sits at the table with the big States of the world.
If Germano was right, then we would have a more reliable population than Minister Giulio Tremonti.
If you don’t know, we're talking about a man who heads the Ministry of Economy, perhaps the most important of all.
Tremonti is the person who manages our money.
He would be less reliable than what?
How many Italians?
One? Two? A hundred? A thousand?! An why has he become minister? Why was he elected?
You have no answer, don’t you?
It’s easy to take a prize at Cannes and shoot crap on our leadership.
Because it was a crap, the boy is young and was caught by the enthusiasm of victory.
Italians who work to improve the country despite the government…
And maybe they are more honest than the latter.
It must be a crap…

Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.

Our son was born, Saturday June 5 2010, Storytelling in Rome.

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Friday, May 21, 2010

Berlusconi isolated case of rotten fruits

Stories and News No. 177

There is always a first time for everybody: today I want to recognize that Berlusconi is coherent in a thing.
When he applies his proverbial strategy of accusing someone and next day amending, he doesn’t distinguish between enemies and allies.
Admittedly, in this is a consistent person.
I'm talking of course of the following sentence, present in all Italian press, about the recent corruption investigations: "These are personal and isolated cases..."
He made this statement answering to a request by Bruno Vespa, the famous Italian journalist - known in Italy and worldwide for his ‘intellectual honesty’… - who asked an opinion on the allegations received by PdL colleagues Verdini and Scajola.
While they surely have not liked it, a few hours later the timely clarification / correction by the premier arrives: “I did not refer to them…”
It’s now a classic of Berlusconi’s repertoire, an author that when there will be no more here many will miss him…

The Story:

Once upon a time there was a bazaar.
In the bazaar there was a fruit stand.
The fruit stand was run by a greengrocer that we may call Silvio.
I know it's obvious, but Silvio is a common name, is short and easy to pronounce.
This is the only reason why I chose it.
I could swear on my children, because this is a story and I can shoot all the shit that I want.
I said, Silvio had this stand which some bad voices from the Left side of the market said he had obtained it with the help of shady people.
He had always denied and I must admit that, despite these slanderous accusations, his desk was always visited by a large number of customers.
The fact was that Silvio was clever with people.
He was a skilled seller and had an extremely effective gab.
You could understand everything he said and that was really his strong point.
His fiercest competitors, the greengrocers on the left side of the market, were managed by merchants who spoke in strange ways.
I ask: when are you selling apples, pears and bananas why do you use all those words that ordinary people don’t understand?
On the contrary, Silvio was simple and direct: our stand is safer and our fruits are fresh for all.
He was an incurable optimist; he always looked the half full glass, even when the glass was empty, even when there was no glass.
However, things didn’t go always good for the best greengrocer in the last 150 years, as he wrote on the sign of his stand.
It happened that some ladies came one morning to protest.
Two types of fruit which had always been proud of, Verdini apples and Scajola oranges, seemed to be hopelessly rotten.
The women also raised their voice and Silvio’s new wife of Silvio, Bruna the Wasp - because of her pungent irony - intervened to quiet: "Calm down, ladies, relax. Stop squawking. We sell fruit, you can find geese on the left..."
The customers didn’t laugh at all, and hoisted it even more when Bruna immediately passed the ball to her husband: "Wait a minute, now Silvio will serve you…"
The greengrocer came forward and, widening his usual cheerful smile, said: "All right, ladies. Verdini apples and Scajola oranges are only isolated cases. Our fruits are fresh and healthy."
Once the rebels withdrew, Silvio gathered the rotten fruits in a large basket, took it in back of the bench and before throwing the contents in the truck, stopped and thought: "I need a bigger truck…"
Inevitable, since it was already filled with Mills melons, Dell’Utri mandarins and especially Bertolaso pears.
All isolated cases.



Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.

Our son was born, Saturday June 5 2010, Storytelling in Rome.

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Thursday, May 20, 2010

10 million for Annozero: worse Santoro or Rai?

Stories and News No. 176

Among the topics discussed today by Italian bloggers is certainly the alleged compensation of 10 million euros that journalist Michele Santoro should get to finish his contract with RAI.
I say alleged because, as Santoro says in a message on the talk show web site, the agreement has not yet been signed and I believe we must give final opinions only after this.
Nevertheless, you know, my country is a land of fans and spectators.
Someone, the founder of Gogol, has understood better than anyone in Italy.
And so the italic web is mainly divided between citizens outraged by the sold paladin and stoically loyal friends of their hero, no ifs or buts.
Yet, I have a Hamlet-like question: Who is most contradictory? The brave Santoro who get the money or the bankruptcy Rai that gives him, to close his talk show which (thanks to sponsors and advertisements) in recent years made earn much more than ten million?

The Story:

Once upon a time there was a football team named Real Rai.
The football team Real Rai had a Director that we can call Mauro Masi.
The Director Mauro Masi takes his decisions with the Board of Directors.
The Board of Directors was formed by a majority and a minority.
Majority and minority, as has always been, arguing about everything and never could agree.
Moreover, the team was certainly not in a good time.
The ranking was very bad, since Real Rai had finished the tournament one step away from the relegation zone.
Besides many allegations that someone in the company favored the rival - Atletico Mediaset, arrived, which that year had won both derbies.
The dramatic event happened when after the championship ended in a sensational news appeared on front the page of all the sports papers: the goal striker Michele Santoro, the champ, the player that had led most of the few revenue to the company, would have been sold.
I correct myself: sold is not the right word.
Real Rai would have given itself ten million euros to Santoro to cut the contract.
Absurd, isn’t it?
As if Barcelona decided to give the same amount to Lionel Messi to fire him…
While the historical groups of fans of Atletico Mediaset - the Promoters of Freedom - rejoiced at the news, supporters and especially the subscribers of Real Rai were very angry.
"What a fuck," one of the major sports journalists in the country, renowned fan of Real Rai, said, "my team give Santoro ten million to go away and we continue to make rich that duffer Bruno Vespa? As a goalkeeper he takes more goals than my blind grandmother…"
Nevertheless, director, majority and minority, were agree.
What did Real Rai gain by this business?
Nobody was able to answer this question.
Except maybe Atletico Mediaset and its president Berlusconi…



Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.

Our son was born, Saturday June 5 2010, Storytelling in Rome.

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Wednesday, May 19, 2010

2001 G8 Genoa summit condemned police: job offers

Stories and News No. 175

Life is not fair and who has lived enough perfectly knows.
However, sometimes I see something unusual, even in our country.
It so happens that the perpetrators of the violence suffered by many young people on the Diaz school, in July 2001 during the G8 summit in Genoa, have some names.
Not all, some, but in these days is a lot.
Francesco Gratteri was sentenced to four years.
Vincenzo Canterini to five.
Giovanni Luperi to four years.
Spartaco Mortola to three years and eight months.
Gilberto Caldarozzi three years and eight months.
Are they actually guilty?
Are they the only people that have to pay or maybe there is still someone else?
I don’t know, I don’t certainly have any right to judge.
Nevertheless I want to stay on the positive and I advice Berlusconi government to do the same.
It’s true that this ruling opens once again a dark spot at the very least discussed management of the 2001 summit, but these sentences free prominent job positions that this time must be covered better considering the candidate...

The Story:

Ladies and gentlemen, here is the latest offers by our Ad Interim job Agency (Minister).
The first job that we propose was released by Francesco Gratteri: Against crime central director of the State Police. This is a role that requires a leader person and possibly with a spotless criminal record.

The second job, vacated by Vincenzo Canterini, is also crucial: Police Quaestor (Questore). The Quaestor is the provincial public security authority, a director of the State Police and a member of the provincial committee for order and public safety.
Obviously, the figure we are looking for must demonstrate a high sense of legality and honesty.

The third offer, to cover the void left by Giovanni Luperi, concerns an important rule: Head of Homeland Security and Information Agency, basic Italian secret service. The organization’s motto is knowledge of the facts is the salvation of the State. For this reason we need an extremely reliable candidate with mirrored virtues, because the security of the entire country depends on his work.

The fourth contract, no longer employed by Spartaco Mortola, is Vice Quaestor.
Of course, this is not the chief, only vice. But we're always talking about a job that requires a great morality; In other words, a good person.

The fifth and final job, up to now occupied by Gilberto Caldarozzi, is of great prestige: Director of State police’s Operational Central Service.
We seek someone who is fully aware of the responsibility to wear a uniform to serve the State and, above all, never forgetting that the State is the people.
Besides, the motto of the Italian Police is sub lege libertas, which means freedom within the law and not freedom under the law...



Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.

Our son was born, Saturday June 5 2010, storytelling in Rome.

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Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Wiretapping bill gag law: Dear Mafia, could I control your phone?

Stories and News No. 174

I have ever been convinced that the real power of Berlusconi's government on the one hand lies in its ability in communicate itself to the people - with the advantage of television monopoly, of course - and on other in never effective critics by opponents.
For example, think about the wiretapping bill devised by the brilliant mind of the Italy Justice minister Angelino Alfano.
Yesterday in Senate the committee has approved a picturesque amendment to the decree is called gag law (legge bavaglio) by its detractors.
In summary, the amendment provides this: to capture a phone call there must be serious evidence of crime; the wiretapping are possible for suspected users that, based on specific acts of investigation, are aware of the facts for being prosecuted. The wiretapping must be absolutely essential to the continuation of the surveys and visual footage must be made in places that belong to suspects, always based on specific acts of investigation, who are aware of the facts for being prosecuted; in addition, there must be concrete evidence that their conduct is directly related to the same facts.
Now, before I give space to the story that this inspires me - especially the bold part... - I invite you to think that this information is just in the bottom of front page in major Italian newspapers.
In my humble opinion the main reason is that the majority of Italians don’t care whether or not the thieves, gangsters and corrupted men get wiretapping.
Football scandal, Calciopoli, this is what they care! Wiretapping of football referees, managers of Inter and Juventus, this is the important ground…

The Story:

M: Hello, who is?
P: Hello, sir, we are the police.
M: What do you want?
P: Excuse me, I call to arrange the wiretapping…
M: Oh, that fucking nuisance…
P: Well, I would submit a plan…
Voiceover: Darling, I'm ready. Are we going?
M: Wait a minute, baby, I’ll finish soon… Police?
P: Yes, I'm here.
M: Tell me what you suggest.
P: Well, if that's okay, we’ll monitor the phone calls the odd days, from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m…
M: You cannot.
P: What about even ones?
M: No, it’s not a matter of even or odd. In that time my daughter talks to her boyfriend and you know, they are young, are always hot…
P: I see. What would you think of the early afternoon, for example from 2 p.m. to...
M: Stop. Every day at that time my mother-in-law is glued to the phone and listening the fortuneteller. If she should know that someone is spying on her, she could get very angry and believe me: you don’t want this…
P: I guess. Mine too has a tremendous character. How about the morning?
M: Hem… - lowering his voice - that is the moment that my father is alone at home and he likes erotic phoning...
P: And to spy on him is not appropriate, right?
M: Yeah.
P: Look, there is the night. From 12 to dawn is okay?
M: Odd days.
P: All right, as you wish. So we agree?
M: Agree.
Double click.
"Sorry, dear..." his wife, who heard the whole conversation, says, "but we have not a daughter, my mother doesn’t live with us and your father died twenty years ago..."
"You’re right. Anyway, the police now will never know the truth..."



Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.

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Monday, May 17, 2010

Two Italian soldiers killed: thanks guys!?

Stories and News No. 173

I don’t want to write a polemical post.
However, reading about the end of two more young lives among the Italian troops in Afghanistan I have to remind this video:

The title is thanks guys (grazie ragazzi).
It has a certain effect watching it today, isn’t it?
Someone might consider it inappropriate and others could find it right.
Yet in Afghanistan, as in Iraq and many other parts of the world blessed by the humanitarian interventions of foreign benefactors, this sometimes happens: people die. Thanks guys, the video above says.
It’s fair that also the families who have been robbed of their loved ones know who to thank...

The Story:

The first gratitude goes to the United States of America, to the Bush administration that started the vital peace invasion and to Obama, democratic to withdraw from Iraq but not enough to leave Afghanistan: thanks guys

The second is obviously for the Italian center-right and center-left politicians, which, no ifs and buts, all these years have supported this peaceful action: thanks guys

The third, the more imperative one, goes to my fellow citizens that since today with their votes have kept them in parliament: thanks guys


Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.

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Friday, May 14, 2010

Berlusconi victim of Mafia: history of sex?

Stories and News No. 172

It has become normal.
As Gulf of Mexico oil spill and the Haiti earthquake, as the cases of sexual scandals in the Catholic Church and the nth fool on Italy that people like Minister Bondi give to the world.
We talks about a day, two and then all are devoured by the monster called habituation.
It seems that last night Massimo, son of Vito Ciancimino, has said on Italian TV: “We should not say that Berlusconi is mafia, rather that someone is holding the balls of Berlusconi. This man is Dell'Utri.
On the daily news, where it’s present, that gains a paragraph at the bottom of the page.
The word association Mafia-Berlusconi isn’t anymore trendy from the perspective of marketing.
And what is and always will be cool in Italy more than anything else? What strikes even more than soccer in the interests of the Italian people? For this reason, I‘m obliged to call the famous sexologist Italian-American Lisa Pointgee, already hosted here regarding alleged sexual relations between Silvio and Fini, Putin and Scajola.

The Story:

A: Dr. Pointgee, good morning! I had to invite you, today.
L: Why?
A: Well, it seems obvious. Did you hear the words of Ciancimino Jr. about Berlusconi and Dell'Utri?
L: Yes, I heard.
A: Well, knowing her, you will surely say definitely that the between them there is a story of sex…
L: No, no story of sex between Berlusconi and Dell'Utri.
A: What? With Fini, Putin and Scajola yes and with Dell'Utri that touches his balls no?
L: No, I don’t see any sexual implication in that.
A: Excuse me, but I am puzzled and stunned. Besides, you always manage to surprise me. What are you gonna do tonight?
L: What...?
A: No, sorry, I’m joking. I said that I am struck. I would have expected by you a genital relationship between Italian Prime Minister and Dell'Utri ...
L: Genital relationship? No. I told you that Eros is not involved in that.
A: Are you sure?
L: Of course. I recall you that I am an expert in the field.
A: Well, so far you saw sex everywhere, and now we have a close hand on his testicles…
L: Yes, I understand what you mean. Undoubtedly we would have all the elements, but in this case are quite sure that sex is not involved.
A: I don’t understand how you can be so convinced. You saw sex even in nuclear agreements between Berlusconi and Putin and now that a hand touches his balls you don’t find anything?
L: If it is true...
A: What?
L: I said if it is literally true what Massimo Ciancimino said, which I highly doubt.
A: What do you mean with literally?
L: Listen, I think is evident that Ciancimino’s statement is a metaphor.
A: Really?
L: It's clear that when the son of Don Vito says that Dell'Utri keeps Berlusconi’s balls in his hand intends that he controls Silvio, he commands him. That would mean that the government of your country since fifteen years is owned by the Mafia.
This seems more credible than a history of sex between them…



Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.

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Thursday, May 13, 2010

Anemone list secret names

Stories and News No. 171

Today we may read on some newspapers the names of VIPs appeared on the famous list Anemone.
VIP, aka Very Important Person.
Perhaps we should replace important with illegal.
However, I don’t want to seem a justicialist man.
The law must do its job, we'll see.
Who failed must pay; there is no doubt about this.
The question is whether someone will pay.
Otherwise, more appropriate than illegal - if you let me pass this English neologism – I propose impunit...

The Story:

P. L. Peter (Peg-Leg Pete, known thief) rebuilding manhole for sudden leaks.
Geertruida Margaretha Zelle (Mata Hari, a dancer and spy): design shutters with louvers for special hardened spies.
Count Vlad III the Impaler (aka Dracula, noble Romanian): crypt floor.
Ernst Stavro B. (Blofeld, James Bond's rival) restructuring headquarters of SPECTRE
Jack T. R. (aka The Ripper): development barber shop.
K. K. (King Kong, the famous gorilla obsessed with blondes) climbing skyscraper design.
B. Wolf (B. stands for Bad): cottages built with poor material to sell to the three little pigs.
Freddy Krueger (serial killer): realization fireproof boiler.
Quasimodo (The Hunchback, not the poet): exact reproduction of Notre Dame in the center of Rome with the funds remaining of Maddalena G8.
Xabaras (father of Dylan Dog): bribes to get him to the common management of Verano, an important cemetery of Rome.
Fu Manchu (Oriental criminal reported by La Padania) easier license for Chinese restaurant on Via Veneto.
Max Eisenhardt (aka Magneto, scientist): flat made entirely of metal.
Senator P. (Palpatine): shed spaceship construction.
Mr. H. (Hyde): Implementation of villa next to his friend Jekyll.
Hannibal Lecter (psychiatrist and criminologist): Enlargement of kitchen and dining room.
Scar (Simba's uncle and brother of Mufasa): Building the third hole in the center of the forest.
Kraken (Sea Monster): Implementation chalet in the mountains due to his rheumatism.
Cruella De Vil (Entrepreneur): Aiding in obtaining the kennel of Rome.
Captain Hook (Pirate): Implementation crocodiles- proof hold.
Chick Hicks (Racing Car): Building garage strictly better looking than that of Lightning McQueen.

Do you know which is the most ridiculous? The characters listed here are more likely to be prosecuted than those appearing in the newspapers...



Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.

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