Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Berlusconi is in danger: no trial for his attacker

Stories and News No. 205

Well, this is a week of important acquittals.
According to Minzolini’s Tg1 the first is for mafia’s friend Marcello Dell’Utri.
And now we have Massimo Tartaglia, the man who attacked Berlusconi, acquitted because declared unfit to stand trial.
He will remain in a therapeutic community for a year, with the prohibition on participating in public events.
"This ruling prompted great preoccupation and perplexity..." People of Freedom spokesman Daniele Capezzone said.
In my opinion, it prompts especially preoccupation.
I think that if Berlusconi has enjoyed the acquittal of Dell'Utri and - unless surprises from the Court of Cassation – he will embrace him once more in just seven years, after one year Tartaglia will be back in circulation.
Not to mention all the other mental sufferers that live in Italy…

The Story:

Berlusconi is in danger.
That's not a test.
It’s not a joke, because you cannot joke with madness.
It jokes with you.
And you never know when you get the trick and how long it will last.
As you have no idea how much ridicule it will be.
Foolishness is unpredictable, that’s trivial and well-known.
The crazy person one day says one thing and the next, indeed, even after a few seconds he contradicts himself.
He is continuously characterized by unbalanced blunders and gestures, causing serious embarrassment to those who accompany him.
Again, the situation is serious.
For once I agree with Capezzone, who was too moderate.
Tartaglia ruling, more than preoccupation and perplexity, puts the prime minister in a disturbing position.
Do you realize?
A guy, who pulls a blunt thing to another’s face, wounding dramatically him, is acquitted.
And we're not saying acquitted as Dell'Utri was, which for Tg1 means seven years in prison, but only a year in a therapeutic community.
This time the communist judges have exceeded the limit.
This decision creates a terrible precedent for the Prime Minister.
I tell you just some numbers.
According to Il Corriere fifteen million Italian citizens at least once in their lives go to a psychiatrist or make use of psychotropic drugs due to mental problems.
One million of them suffer from serious diseases and at least half are schizophrenic.
The premier said that the crisis is now behind us - and someone even commented saying yes, it’s in our ass… but Silvio now has something else to think.
In its place, after this ruling, I would be much more careful in public outings.
You know, crazy people can be anywhere.
Some are also upset.
If they are acquitted too…

Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.

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Tuesday, June 29, 2010

PdL senator Dell'Utri was mafia friend. So Berlusconi…

Stories and News No. 204

According to the appeals court PdL senator Marcello Dell'Utri had dealings with the Mafia since the seventies at least until the day of the murder of Falcone and Borsellino in 1992.
For this reason he was sentenced to seven years imprisonment.
This news confirms the doubts and suspicions that have been born in me at the time of the first instance of the trial.
I know, you will think I’m crazy, but I cannot anymore keeping me in this weight.
I need to vent…

The Story:

I have a theory.
I know it's mad, but I must speak, or I will burst.
In my opinion, between Silvio Berlusconi and the Mafia there is a link.
I understand this is a strong statement and quite risky.
Call it pure political fiction.
However, try to follow me a moment.
Indulge me.
Marcello Dell'Utri was found guilty of having been connected with the Mafia in the second grade of trial, particularly from the 70s to '92.
Now, Dell'Utri in 1974 entered into a society called Edilnord invited by whom?
Silvio Berlusconi!
This would be enough to validate my suspicions, right?
But there's not only this.
Also in '74 Dell'Utri was the man who made the murderer and mafia criminal Vittorio Mangano assumed as head of a residence.
Who is the owner of that home?
Do you understand that something stinks here?
In 1982 he was chosen as director of Publitalia, the company for the advertising of Fininvest, which later became CEO of.
And who founded both?
You might not believe, but Silvio did.
It could be just a coincidence, I agree, but... it could not be, right?
There is a possibility; at least you must allow this.
In 1993 Dell’Utri founded Forza Italy Dell'Utri with whom?
Berlusconi again!
I know mine looks like a delirium, I admit, however I cannot get rid of this mania.
If Marcello Dell'Utri was a mafia’s friend and he’s still near and with so many ties with Silvio Berlusconi, for the mafia transitive property, the Italian Prime minister was too.
Maybe he still is; what do we know about?
Well, I said it.
Call me crazy now…

Monday, June 28, 2010

Berlusconi and Brancher history of sex

Stories and News No. 203

"Italy lost the World Cup and gets angry with me," Berlusconi's government symbol Minister Aldo Brancher complains.
It seems that the impeded minister will no longer be able to legitimate his impediment and on July 5 he should therefore appear in front of the court at his trial.
However, as Senator Stefano Ceccanti insinuated, Minister Brancher’s reverse is not due to a sudden surge of institutional sensitivity or accuracy.
"If the court had decided to consider the legitimate impediment exceptionable," the Senator says, "and if, as yesterday the defense of Brancher had announced, the Prime Minister had proposed allocation’s conflict before the Constitutional Court, the latter could blow the law up as unconstitutional already in October, leaving for a year Berlusconi, pending the constitutional Lodo Alfano, without a shield."
Oh, but is everything in this government related to him?
What's behind?
Of course, I ask what's behind to the famous American of Italian descent sexologist Lisa Pointgee.

The Story:

A: Dr. Pointgee, good morning. First of all, I offer my sympathy for the recent defeat of the U.S. soccer team by Ghana.
L: Well, that's like a homeless man offered to give a loan to a millionaire who lost his wallet…
A: You’re cruel.
L: I'm not cruel. Someone says that in Italy were no phenomena. Yes, only people like Totti, Cassano and Miccoli too, if he had not injured.
A: No... Are you telling me that you supported Italy?
L: Remember that I am an American of Italian descent, not Padane. But let’s pass to the questions…
To: Did you read about Brancher news, the last minister wanted by Berlusconi?
L: Yes.
A: What's behind?
L: You should intuit by yourself, now. Is it possible that after our many meetings you still didn't understand what really moves the politics in your country?
A: A history of sex?
L: More preciously, a dynamic of a sexual nature. And the question of what is behind, as we say sexologists, is the classic Vaseline on anus.
A: You say so. Can you explain better?
L: The erotic dynamic is between Brancher and Berlusconi.
To: Berlusconi… could he be out of this?
L: The day it will happen the sexual dynamics and politics as you know will end too. Or…
A: Or?
L: Or you will elect another Berlusconi. That will mean that we still meet here, I suppose.
A: You were saying that the erotic dynamic is between the two.
L: Yes. That’s a textbook case, known as the Multae vitae anus, or the anus with many lives.
A: What?
L: The anus with many lives is the ass of a person who’s particularly resistant to be defiled.
A: Do you mean buggered?
L: In other words, yes. This very tough ass has many lives, other butts that in its place get violated.
A: Do you mean buggered?
L: In other words, yes.
A: Let's see if I have correctly understood. Berlusconi is the man with tough anus and Brancher is one of his lives?
L: It's obvious.
A: Who are the other anuses?
L: Well, the prime minister has given power to many people, but they’re not all. There are also those who have got nothing by Silvio.
A: Who are they?
L: All of your fellow citizens who voted for him...

Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.

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Friday, June 25, 2010

Brancher legitimate impediment: another slap to suffering people

Stories and News No. 202

In my country many things happen today…
It happens that a man named Aldo Brancher is investigated for handling stolen goods.
It happens that, after Bancopoli scandal in July 2005, Brancher is investigated for receiving stolen goods because the prosecutor has identified an account belonging to his wife with a gain of 300 thousand euros in two years.
On June 18, after five years, it happens that Berlusconi makes this man Minister for the Implementation of Administrative and Fiscal Federalism.
Then, it happens that on June 26 the judges will wait for him.
It happens that Brancher says he will not occur because he has to organize his recent new ministry.
And it happens that he can do thanks to the legitimate impediment law, approved this year.
But in Italy it doesn’t happen just that...

The Story:

In my country it also happens that in the province of Caserta a 44 years old man, unemployed and separated from his wife, surrenders to despair and shots in the stomach.

It happens that in the province of Pordenone an immigrant worker aged 55, unemployed and with a seriously ill wife, commits suicide with a knife.

It happens that in Milan an unemployed 37 year old man loses his head and with an ax attempts to break through the front door of the woman who left him.

It happens that in Catania a young uncensored 19 year old guy commits suicide in prison, even if the mother does not believe it and probably does well.

It happens that in the province of Bari a 17 years old boy goes under a train because he failed at school.

It happens that in Parma a 66 years old man fire a shot to his heart due to serious health problems of his family.

It happens that the 32° suicide in prison in 2010 is a mob boss and therefore it does not count.

It happens that in Palermo a 61 years old man suicides himself and his nonagenarian mother for health problems.

It happens that in Genoa a 41 years old woman jumps from her window after the arrival of the bailiff with the sentence of eviction.

It happens that a boy from Agrigento kills himself leaving a message on a forum asking: “If I am graduated, why am I unemployed?
Yeah. Why?
And why in my country, only in June, does it happen that so many people commit suicide for despair and others continue to bypass and trample our laws?

Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.

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Thursday, June 24, 2010

Anti rape axe condom with teeth? I created anti-sodomize underpants

Stories and News No. 201

Who is Sonnet Ehlers?
And what she did?
She invented the Rape-aXe, the Anti-rape condom with teeth, here's what she did.
Who is Neil Van Schalkwyk?
He’s the inventor of vuvuzelas, and apologizes for his creation, but admits to be getting rich.
I have always admired the inventors.
They are a little bit like the writers: they pull something out that was not there before and that changes people's lives.
For better or for worse, I leave you to judge.
I also invented something that I hope you will find interesting.
I am sure that in country like Italy would be very useful…

The Story:

It’s time to defend ourselves!
It's absurd that today citizens of a country like Italy are still victims of buggering. When will they be able to defend themselves? When will we worry about their violated behinds? Never, it seems to be! It seems there is always a most important issue to be addressed in parliament.
I know that.
The most buggers are there!
Eyes filled with tears and extreme vulnerability of the victims of sodomizing, that’s what inspired the invention that I am going to propose.
I’m talking about the Pomigliano workers forced to choose between a buggering yes and a buggering no.
Whatever will happen it will be a buggering seems to be the motto.
So are the unemployed, redundancy and the insecure people, and the idiots who persist in paying the taxes for everybody in Italy.
They all seem to say: "If I had some protection back there!"
Here's the solution:

The anti-sodomize underpants

The anti-sodomize underpants are essential in Italy today.
Although appearing as regular underpants, it contains a light, thin but puncture lead foil.
That will be precious in the case of particularly violent and sudden buggering.
However, the real surprise is during the abusive slipping.
Let’s figure that someone wants to sodomize you without permission.
It doesn’t matter who he is.
A prime minister, a minister or economy of federalism, whoever the aggressor is, my underpants doesn’t make any difference.
Does the bad guy take your underpants without your awareness?
You don’t move.
By the way, you never move…
Once he removed your underpants, amid the bare buttocks, the helpless anus appears.
However, stay calm.
That anus is not yours, but an artificial rectum with an antitheft.
The penis is blocked, and a siren produced by the union of 400 vuvuzelas will start.
Then I want to see how he will justify that.
Do you think mine is a joke?

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Agreement Pomigliano Fiat yes wins. Marchionne would vote no to mine

Stories and News No. 200

There are many ways to share news.
One is Pomigliano says yes to Marchionne.
Another is Pomigliano says yes to the Fiat plan, but the meaning is the same.
Another, trying to watch a classic half full glass, is No plebiscite in Pomigliano.
You could also say that the referendum result is not about a more or less unanimous victory for the yes, but rather the consequence of a old strategy: divide et impera.
Indeed, divide and fuck.
But it would be a too free statement for a newspaper that lives with governments funding.
Maybe that’s the reason why I found so difficult to find the agreement text on national press.
Anyway, I thought of proposing an agreement too.
Divide et impera plan doesn’t work only with workers…

The Story:

Get twenty managers.
For example, take the twenty highest-paid manager in Italy:
1° Carlo Puri Negri (Executive Vice President of Pirelli Re): € 14,000,000
2° Claudio De Conto (CEO of Pirelli): € 7,337,000
3 ° Marco Tronchetti Provera (Chairman of Pirelli): € 5,664,000
4° Luca Cordero di Montezemolo: € 5,177,000
5° Sergio Marchionne (CEO of Fiat): € 4,782,400
6° Pier Francesco Guarguaglini (President and CEO of Finmeccanica): € 4,712,000
7° Alessandro Profumo (Unicredit CEO): € 4,324,000
8° Paolo Scaroni (CEO of Eni): € 4,272,000
9° Corrado Passera (Managing Director of Intesa Sanpaolo): € 3,811,000
10° Fedele Confalonieri (President of Mediaset): € 3,520,000
11° Cesare Geronzi (President of Mediobanca): € 3,306,000
12° Giuliano Adreani (Managing Director of Mediaset): € 3,080,000
13° Fulvio Conti (Enel CEO): € 2,620,794
14° Alberto Nagel (Managing Director of Mediobanca): € 2,564,000
15° Umberto Quadrino (CEO of Enel): € 2,507,000
16° Antonio Vigni (Director General of MPS): € 1,955,000
17° Francesco Gori (General Manager of Pirelli): € 1,859,000
18° Giovanni Castellucci (CEO of Atlantia): € 1,826,000
19° Giuliano Zuccoli (President management of A2A): € 1,718,000
20° Dieter Rampl (President of Unicredit): € 1,599,000

Then - of course, having the authority - propose them the following agreement:

Dear managers,
do you want to save your paycheck?
Then vote yes.
In this case only those of you called Sergio Marchionne will be dismissed.
Otherwise, you are all dismissed.

Result: 19 yes and 1 no.
The yes won, but there was no plebiscite, though.
Who knows why…?

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Padania does not exist, Democratic Party is not left and I am not feeling that good myself

Stories and News No. 199

"Padania doesn’t exist," Chamber of Deputies President Gianfranco Fini said. "It's a happy propagandist invention."
I risked an infarct.
How is it possible?
I can’t believe…
Padania does not exist?
Is it just a propagandist invention?!
They have a newspaper, La Padania.
They also have a radio to cheer against Italy.
Come on…
If it were true, then I would really start to doubt everything…
No, it’s false.

The Story:

It’s false.
Padania exists.
So, would you make me believe that Democratic Party young supporters don’t like the word compagni?
How do they prefer to be called?
No, I don’t accept this.
Padania exists, the television said a billion times.
No, you do not convince me, I’m not so stupid.
Maybe now you come to tell me that there are people and unions in Pomigliano who went to the streets to defend their managers…
You cannot kid me.
Padania exists; otherwise they would not have elected Miss Padania, right?
So now you will tell me that there is a nun who became manager of a bank…
A Christian nun!
Christian, do you get it?!
Those of Christian charity!
Come on, let's be serious.
So now you tell me that in Italy there are two ministers for federalism…
Two ministers for one ministry?!
But are we all mad here?
When will we end this absurd play?
Padania exists and everybody may see it.
It’s there, in the north of Italy.
Otherwise, nothing is true here.
Do you realize?
Then a guy wakes up in the morning and says that there is no center left, at most a center, because the left is out of parliament.
Another one jumps out and says that the center right is more right than ever, since it does not need center anymore.
A third one comes and says that we are in a semi-free country, ruled by corrupt and mafia people and if we’ll not go on the streets to surround the parliament things will never change.
Padania exists.
It must do.

Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.

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Monday, June 21, 2010

Cardinal Sepe and Don Gallo same church different priests

Stories and News No. 198

Cardinal Crescenzio Sepe is under investigation for corruption.
He got respect and solidarity from the Vatican.
Those of unconditionally trust to all under investigation friends didn’t invent anything.
However, I’m not here to point the finger on the prelate.
About my last post on the case of cocaine in the Union of Christians Democrats, I was accused of profiteering and I will not give any help to some other mischievous to avoid the problem.
What problem?
You choose.
What I will do is simply to compare the lives of two men, two priests of the same church.
None of us here has the right to judge, apart from the judiciary.
But it is essential to form a based on facts opinion…

The Story:

Once upon a time there were two men.
One was named Crescenzio and the other Andrea.
The latter was born in Genoa in July 1928.
The second came to the world years later, in June of '43, in Carinaro, in the province of Caserta.
Andrea was immediately attracted to the spiritual life of Don Bosco, becoming part of the Salesian novitiate at the age of twenty.
Crescenzio also felt a religious vocation and twenty-four years old was ordained a priest.
In 1953 Andrea asked to be transferred in a mission, to give a stronger sense to his faith.
It Brazil he ended his theological studies but was forced to return home because of the dictatorship. He became priest in July 1959.
Crescenzio started soon a great career.
After serving as a teacher, in 1972, twenty-nine years old, was admitted to the Holy See's diplomatic service, for the Papal Representation in Brazil.
As if to say, the streets - and reasons - to arrive in South America are endless.
In 1960, 32 years old, Andrea was sent as chaplain to the juvenile reformatory La nave scuola Garaventa.
In those years, Andrea tried to change the present repressive methods to introduce two fundamental values to him: freedom and trust.
In 1992, Crescenzio's career continued to rise.
In that year he became Archbishop of the Patriarchate of Grado.
Andrea, after three years of commitment to the reformatory, was transferred.
He said it was without explanation.
In 1964, he left the Salesians and entered the diocese of Genoa, motivating his decision with these words: "The Salesian Congregation was institutionalized and kept me from fully living the priestly vocation."
In November of 1997 Crescenzio got another award.
He was appointed Secretary General of the Jubilee Year 2000.
It was a role of great responsibility, since the value of the event.
Andrea, after joined the diocese of Genoa, was sent by the archbishop the town in Capraia, where he served as chaplain of the local prison.
Two months later he was transferred again, this time to Carmine, as assistant pastor.
Andrea quickly made his church a reference point for all the marginalized people in the area, offering hospitality and listening to everybody.
However, in 1970 he was postponed again to Capraia and many claimed that this happened for some of his sermons, which made him get the accusation of being a communist.
Perhaps, in those years, it was the worst sin that a Catholic priest might receive.
In 2001 the career of Crescenzio became bright.
In a few months Pope John Paul II made him Cardinal and Prefect of the Congregation for the Evangelization of Peoples.
In that year he obtained many other awards too: Chancellor of the Pontifical Urban University, Member of the Congregation for the Clergy and the Doctrine of the Faith, the Pontifical Council for Inter-religious Dialogue, Communications, Promotion Christian Unity and for Legislative Texts, Pontifical Commission for Latin America and the Special Council for Asia of the General Secretariat of the Synod of Bishops.
Going back to Andrea, in 1970 he refused the transfer to Capraia.
Don Federico Rebora called him in his parish in San Benedetto al Porto.
At this time a new phase in Andrea’s life began.
Indeed, in those years he started to create his idea of church, known as the Community of St. Benedict to the Port.
A community in which to practice the vocation that time ago had prompted him to become a priest: helping the last ones, be with the last ones, living with them.
However, in later years, Andrea became famous for his ideas about the legalization of soft drugs, condom use, for his participation in the protest against the establishment of U.S. base in Vicenza and the Gay Pride in Genoa, rather for his daily commitment near the poor and marginalized people.
The rest is recent history.
In June 2010 Crescenzio is under investigation for corruption in a scandal that is giving further shame to our country, as if there had not been enough.
Nevertheless, the Vatican has renewed respect and solidarity to him.
What about Andrea?
He continued to be a priest, every single day.
Even without those respect and solidarity…

Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.

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Friday, June 18, 2010

De Gennaro convicted. Full trust and solidarity?!

Stories and News No. 197

The trust is an important thing in everyone's life.
I don’t know about you, but I'm not a person who easily trusts the others.
Time ago yes, but then, after the years, the disappointments I have got made more suspicious.
That’s normal, I think.
I perfectly know it’s wrong if in the end you don’t trust anybody, that’s clear.
You have to trust someone.
Anyway since I overcame the forties I am much more cautious in granting trust to others.
Imagine the full trust or the full solidarity.
The solidarity is something precious too, don’t you agree?
That’s when you give it and when you receive it, of course.
But even in this case, I’m not used to share it at random without thinking before.
Here is an example.
Image that someone I know is accused of a deplorable action.
Even if I loved him, he has my trust and solidarity if and only if he is innocent.
If he were found guilty, well - only in the case we were bound by a feeling of affection – I would feel sorry for him.
Otherwise, why would I insist in giving him trust, indeed, full trust and solidarity?

The Story:

Once upon a time there was the land of trust.
The land of trust was also the land of solidarity.
But it was best known for in the former way.
Holland is famous for its windmills, but even the smoke.
That’s typical.
The land of trust, but also of solidarity, began to earn that name since 2001, when the opposition asked the Senate to impeach the government in response to horrible facts during the G8 of that year.
"In the Senate there are friends of the violent people," Gianfranco Fini said, much time before remembering to have the balls.
Trust was voted by Government majority to the Interior Minister Claudio Scajola, a person so worthy to deserve it to pay him the house without his knowledge.
So, in that same year he also got President Ciampi’s trust.
Yet the allegations to police for those tragic days in Genoa were very serious, however, it could not get the solidarity of Berlusconi?
Isn’t he the man more trustful in the land of trust?
In 2003 the police have got other charges.
"That’s an attempt to turn attacked people to aggressors!" the new Interior Minister Giuseppe Pisanu denounced. And who expresses full solidarity with the police? Clemente Mastella! Try to understand, is a question of consistency. He is a person who needs it all the time, just as the Minister Gasparri, who was also united with the agents.
In 2007 De Gennaro is investigated.
Prime Minister Prodi said he will replace him, but gave him his trust.
As if to say, we of Center Left, when it needs to trust or be united to someone ever demonstrate responsibility.
In 2009, another G8 came and other trust offered to police officers, this time from Guido Bertolaso.
He’s a man that without the trust of all the governments of these years, how would he always stay on his place?
Let’s arrive to 2010: De Gennaro sentenced of one year and four months for the acts of the G8 2001.
And the trust still comes by the Interior Minister Maroni.
This is the land of trust and solidarity.
But how it could be wonderful, if it had been the land of justice and honesty...

Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.

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Thursday, June 17, 2010

UDC Union of Democrat Cocaine addicts

Stories and News No. 196

Here’s another case of cocaine in UDC Party.
I read today the arrest of Salvatore Cintola, regional member UDC that, according to the investigators, instructed his secretary to buy cocaine.
The punitive action of the national secretary Lorenzo Cesa didn’t hesitate: "We’ll throw him out of the party!"
However, this is not the first case in the Union of Christian Democrats.
Only two years ago Alfredo Pacifico, UDC commissioner pro tempore of Legnano - and outgoing secretary, was arrested for cocaine.
And we can’t forget Cosimo Mele, a former member of the UDC, investigated for smuggling of drugs, especially cocaine.
Now, as they say, one may be an exception.
Two may be a coincidence.
But three…
Three create a problem.
However, I'm not here just to destroy and I want to give a constructive contribution.
I have the solution and I offer for free.

The Story:

Dear Christian Democrats United,
it’s time to change.
You are not drug addicts.
And not even people suffering from homesickness, how Renato Zero said.
Juts a little bit…
Anyway the Christian Democracy party is finished time ago.
I hope you noticed.
You are just chronically depressed patients.
And for that you became cocaine addicts.
You don’t need to be ashamed.
I am not justifying, of course, but who has the right to judge you?
The magistrates, when they’re free to work.
But the others...
The others, especially your colleagues of a different color, cannot speak.
As if some says: do not look into the nostrils of the others, when a beam is in yours.
For this reason I am not here to be moralist with you.
I call you for action on depression.
I would also be depressed instead of you.
I would feel the same if I were always to mediate over everything, to compromise with everyone, smiling to left and right, and for what?
Not to be in the government!
That’s what you didn’t understand by your ancestors teaching.
Being a centrist party is convenient if you are the majority.
Your ancestors had ambition and vision.
They mediated, yes, but with cunning.
You have thought that to keep the word Christian in the name of the party would be enough to be worthy heirs of them.
You’re wrong.
Listen, the old DC politicians, Fanfani, Andreotti and company, if today they had found a party, do you really think that they would call it Christian Democracy?
They would have called Forza Italia, if someone else hadn’t done before.
Have you not learned anything from your former ally Berlusconi?
The name of the party is everything.
What is the winning formula that Silvio has taught this country?
When you have a problem, you don’t need to hide it.
Turn over, turn over all.
Others are always the problem, never Silvio.
The judges, the journalists and all those that oppose him are enemies of democracy, not him.
For this reason, here is the solution that will make you again a majority party and above all happy people, indeed, happily excited people.
You’ll become the UDC, Union of Democrat Cocaine addicts.
I'm not kidding, I'm serious.
Identify yourself with this new name and started screaming every day on TV and newspapers that the true drug addicts are the others and that you are only happy people who love having fun.
If it should not work, actually it means that Italy has changed...

Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.

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Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Mafia repentant accusing Berlusconi must die!

Stories and News No. 195

"(Giuseppe Graviano) He told me Berlusconi’s name and that man from Canale 5, Dell'Utri. Thanks to the seriousness of these people they had put the country in our hands."
In your opinion, after saying such a thing, mafia repentant Gaspare Spatuzza could be trusted by Berlusconi government?
It’s obvious, isn’t it?
If what he said were false, many in place of Silvio and his collaborators would act the same way.
Imagine the contrary...
On the contrary many would do everything to counteract these disturbing allegations.
On the contrary, many would find any pretext to render harmless Spatuzza, for example denying the protection program, despite being requested by prosecutors in three different cities and the limit of 180 days would be just one of many.
On the contrary, if the latter was not valid, many of us instead of the central committee of the Interior Ministry would do everything to find other excuses...

The Story:

Hypothetical phone call:

"This is the Central Commission of the Interior Ministry.?"
"Hello, I work for the Palermo prosecutor office."
"Hello, tell me."
"I call you about mafia repentant Gaspare Spatuzza. A few days ago our office, together with that of Florence and Caltanissetta, forwarded the request of the protection program…"
"Hello? Are you still there?"
"Yes, I am here..."
"I whish to know why you have not accepted our request."
"Sure, I can tell right away..."
Noise of browsed pages.
"Well… we rejected that because that shi... hem, sorry, Spatuzza spoke over the 180 days allowed by law."
"Oh no."
"What no?"
"No, because the law – I’m quoting - refers to working 180 days, and you have counted Saturday and Sunday too..."
Other noise of browsed pages, more nervously this time.
"Yes, here I am… we rejected also because the statements of that great son of… oops, sorry, that Mafia repentant were not countersigned by the expert witnesses..."
"You're wrong, it were countersigned."
Usual noise, now frenetic.
"Hello…? Can you hear me?"
"Of course! That infam… hem, that Spatuzza was not included in the list of mafia repentant in time…"
"I stop you immediately. I've got the papers proving the absolute regularity..."
"Listen! Spatuzza is just unreliable. He must di… he should not have the protection program. Don’t insist."
"Why? Because... because he is born on April 8 and all the mafia repentant born April 8 are excluded from protection program."
"But who says that? This rule is not written anywhere."
"Not yet, but wait and see. And of course it will be retroactive... "

Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.

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Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Eighth grade examination and honest Italian composition

Stories and News No. 194

Between Monday and today the Roman students will face the Italian composition.
Among the subjects, there are the following: Letter to a friend, a project that I spent during the year, describe the 900 from a historical perspective, describe the Second World War.
Thirteen years.
That’s an important age, as all those that run through the time that I consider most interesting in our life: adolescence.
I’m referring to the period in which everybody hatched a huge need to be heard.
With good reason, I add.
Each one of adults should pay close attention to what girls and boys, not only the Roman, but throughout Italy will write in these days.
And not for rhetoric as hypocritical principles, such as these young people will be tomorrow's adults.
Now they deserve our ears and eyes.
Because even now, without saying or doing anything, they are better than us.

The Story:

Title: I am confused.


My name is Luca, I’m thirteen and I am also confused.
I'm confused for many reasons, but I'm going to order.
First of all, I am confused by reading the subjects that you have proposed.
Are you kidding me? No, because if this is a joke by my brother Emanuele, tell me.
He constantly teases me, but I’m never so angry, because his jokes are never cruel.
Annoying, yes, and I get a little bit irritated, but the next day I don’t remember why and it's okay like that.
It’s okay like that.
My mother always says so, to mean that we can go forward, that nothing happened and that much more is ahead.
Anyway, I was speaking about the composition subjects.
Thinking carefully, this cannot be a joke by my brother.
You don’t even know who Emanuele is.
You barely know me…
Why do I say that you barely know me?
For the same reason I think this Italian exam is all a joke.
If you knew me a little, not too much, you wouldn’t have proposed me these arguments.
You should have known that I've already done this composition, with all the subjects inside.
Just this Sunday, I wrote a letter to my cousin, who is a real friend to me.
Here's an excerpt:
Dear Graziano,
this week we’ll have exams.
I’m not nervous.
Yes, I’m a bit afraid, but most of all I am confused.
In these three years of school teachers have told us many things.
The history teacher has described us the 900.
He told us that in Italy there was fascism and that it fell in 1943. So why Freedom Press says that we are a semi-free country?
He told us that in 1946 Italy became a Republic, a nation where the power belongs to a large part of the people. So why today we are commanded by only one man, who always does what he pleases?
He told us that in 1989 the Berlin Wall fell and that this event also marked the collapse of communism. So why did that man who does what he likes keeps saying that his opponents are communists?
Our teacher told us also about the Second World War.
He told us that because of atrocities committed during the latter, in 1948 the nations signed the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Why today most of them do not respect it?
Why, after millions of deaths, there are still people who consider the war as an opportunity?
Why after millions and millions of their dead, there are still people who consider the genocide of a population as a form of defense?
I'm confused, but I will not remain blocked to be just a spectator, like my grandmother does every day watching television.
At the beginning of this last school year I did a project, which I spent everything of me to.
But I’m not gonna tell you about it.
I don’t trust you.
You have to trust me.
After all, I can't certainly do more damage than you.

Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.

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Monday, June 14, 2010

Berlusconi and Gaddafi history of sex in tent

Stories and News No. 193

Once again we must say meno male che Silvio c’è (Thank God for Silvio).
Many newspapers tell that thanks to Silvio Berlusconi in Libya, Colonel Gaddafi has allowed the release of the Swiss entrepreneur Max Goeldi and the three Italian vessels that were seized.
Nevertheless, forgive me, but I am one of the few, very few Italian citizens who tend to distrust what the press say and, above all, everything about our Prime Minister.
So, just to have a clearer idea, even today I ask the opinion of the distinguished American sexologist Lisa Pointgee.

The Story:

A: Dr. Pointgee, what a pleasure to have you again here.
L: Hi.
A: Excuse me, but why are you always so cold? After all, you have Italian origins…
L: Well, let’s continue with these clichés. Maybe now you will ask if I play the mandolin…
A: Okay, forget it. Do you read about the Berlusconi’s last successful diplomatic mission?
L: Are you referring to the recent visit by Libyan dictator?
A: Dictator? Do you mean Gaddafi?
L: Yes, dictator. Why, what’s him for you Italians? Is he democratically elected?!
A: No…
L: However, behind the meeting between the two leaders, there is obviously a history of sex.
A: Of course.
L: Why are you sarcastic?
A: No, no sarcasm! Tell me, I'm carefully listening.
L: I said it’s clear that between Gaddafi and Berlusconi there is a history of sex. We sexologists call it transitoriae proprietas analysis. That is, transitive anal property.
A: I still doubt the Latin teachers in USA…
L: Why?
A: No... You know, I'm ever doubtful.
L: It hurts. You should relax. How's your sex life?
A: Hem... sorry, can we back to the point?
L: Yes, as I was explaining, the meeting between your Prime Minister and the Libyan dictator is a textbook case. Moreover, you can intuit just reading the various statements after the conclusion of the story.
A: Really? What statements?
L: As you know, with the arrival of Berlusconi, Mr. Max Goeldi was released.
A: Yes.
L: And what did the Swiss say, among other things, before boarding the plane to go home?
A: What did he say?
L: They were very hard months. I will never return to Libya, it was hard. It’s evident what the word hard refers to, right?
A: Evident.
L: And all thanks to the arrival of Berlusconi. In fact, what have Libyan authorities said about your prime minister? The role of Silvio Berlusconi to resolve the dispute was decisive. Now, if two plus two equals four...
A: Yes... but can you explain?
L: Explain? Could it be clearer than that?! In that tent the Swiss was undoubtedly a passive subject. Then Berlusconi came and thanks to the transitive property the situation was unlocked.
A: Does that mean that Silvio became the passive subject?!
L: No, in no way. Your prime minister is never a passive subject. You Italians should have understood. He only offered to Gaddafi… an alternative target.
A: How could he do?
L: Oh, it was so easy to Berlusconi. You know, among his people, there are a lot of men ready for him to that kind of hard sacrifices…

Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.

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