Thursday, September 30, 2010

Berlusconi Confidence vote 5 points: Mafia Trials Fear Rich League

Stories and News No. 238

It was predictable: the People of Freedom voted to trust their own sovereign.
All the people: faithful enemies and adoring servants, complicit debtors and blackmailers, and especially grateful and pandering souls.
This is the people of freedom, where everyone is free to choose how to worship the divine Silvio.
That is nothing new under the Italic sun of the last fifteen years.
In my humble opinion, the most interesting facts are the points that Berlusconi told.
In other words, what this shaky confidence is based on.
Berlusconi has listed five points.
Well, yet another innovation of this blog, I shall apply to them a prototype device, that is very advanced in detecting the true meaning of Italian Prime Minister’s words.
This is a kind of translator, which - unlike traditional media – does not just report the speeches of politicians, but it raises the real meaning, synthesizing the essential message.
How does it work?
Simple: It just remembers who is the speaker and especially who he is talking to

The Story:

The five points:

First: the Federalism

Berlusconi: "This is a pillar of the government program. It will be the hinge to unify the country. No one must fear that it could produce a further divide between North and South. It will ensure transparency and will give birth to a new Italy with a new national deal."
Translator: "Bossi, you and the Northern League, vote for me and you will continue to do everything you whish."

Second: the Tax reform.

Berlusconi: "The government's objective is to reduce the tax oppression and the large jungle clearing the tax system, while ensuring growth and severity of the accounts of the state, all without creating deficits. The priorities are family, job and research."
Translator: "Dear rich, businessmen and bankers, in short, people with money: make vote your politics friends. You won’t miss my gifts, support and concessions."

Third: the Justice.

Berlusconi: "Let’s stop with the political use of justice, it is time to reform, starting from that Constitutional one in the CSM and the separation of careers judges. Soon there will be special plan for pending civil cases."
Translator: "Friends and fellow investigated, with charges and condemned politicians: give me your vote and let’s together stop with these damn trials."

Fourth: the Security

Berlusconi: "You all know the successes made by the government in the fight against crime and I have to praise the work of all law enforcement. Finally there is a great team called the State. Very well was the action on immigration with illegal landings reduced by 88%."
Translator: "All of you who always ride on the mechanism of fear of Islamic terrorism, immigrant rapists and thieves gypsies, vote yes. We must remain united on this strategy. You know better than me that this is the only thing which allows us to win every election."

Fifth: the South Italy

Berlusconi: "More infrastructures: these are the main axes which government action moves on. In the next years, with investments of 21 billion euros, the interventions on the South will be tripled, reaching some important results in 2013 as the completion of the Salerno-Reggio Calabria highway. Before the end of December the project of the bridge over the Sicily Messina Strait will be ready."
Translator: "This time I really talk to everyone, so you're almost in every part of the Parliament. Mafia friends, I have never forgotten you. Please vote for me, because we still have much to build together…"



Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.



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Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Italian rats and Roman pigs: the racists upstairs

Stories and News No. 237

It's true that reality almost always exceeds the imagination.
I ever thought this.
For this reason, I consider the media news an extremely fertile source from which drawing to invent my own stories.
As many in Italy know, the Minister for Reforms to federalism, Mr. Umberto Bossi, referring to citizens of the capital of the Italian Republic - which he has sworn allegiance to, said this: "These Romans are pigs…"
The not so original change of the true meaning of the abbreviation SPQR has obviously shocked the hearts of many.
That was just an ironic joke.
This is the way how Berlusconi called the offence, I repeat, by the Minister for Reforms to federalism.
Yesterday Mr. Bossi, speaking to Radio Padania, added: "We expect to be respected and not stolen. If they (the Romans) could, they would steal even our sidewalks…"
Eh, you all know: everybody in the world envies the northern Italy sidewalks...
Now, the sardonic fate made that at north of Umberto Bossi there is Switzerland.
However, the news I am going to quote is not about the Swiss country, but particularly Canton of Ticino, part of the so-called Italian Switzerland, which makes everything even more grotesque.
In fact I read today that in Canton of Ticino there is an advertising campaign which - drawing them in the form of mice, indicates foreigners as responsible for all problems and, in particular, accuses people from Northern Italy towns like Milan, Como, Varese and Novara of stealing jobs to pure Ticino citizens.
How can I not write something about?
As they say, that is a perfect assist…

The Story:

Once upon a time there were a father, a mother and a child.
The three were very happy that day.
The reason of it I will say at the end.
This family lived in a building of eight floors.
They had the misfortune to live on the ground one.
And most importantly, they were born Roma.
They were not unlucky just because they were Roma.
They were unfortunate of being born Roma and living at the first floor of that building.
One evening, the boy had asked his father why the neighbors upstairs always treated them badly.
"Because they say we are dirty and stink," the father replied.
"But we must understand them, they have their problems too…" he added later.
"What problems?" the child asked.
"You see, they are illegal immigrants and who live upstairs accuse them of being in the building only to steal and sell drugs."
"And who are these others?"
"They are people like us and they also don’t live so well ..."
"Why?"
"Because they are Palestinians and the persons who live at the up floor, the Israelis, argue that their intent is to occupy their home…"
"Really?"
"Sure, but don’t think that the Israelis sleep soundly. On the floor above there are the Anti Zionists, who see the Israelis as greedy and only attached to the money. "
"What an ugly building, Dad…"
"Ah, but you have not heard anything yet. Over the Anti Zionists, on the sixth floor, there are the Padani. "
"Who are they?"
"They are people from northern Italy."
"They are Italians, right?"
"No, they call themselves Padani and believe that all who live below are inferior, with no exceptions."
"Who live above them?"
"This is funny, my son: the Swiss, but not all Swiss, the Italian Swiss. And the Italian Swiss accuse the Padani of stealing their job. "
"Wow. And who lives on the top floor? "
"Nobody knows, my dear. And, since the nature of the building, no one has the courage to go knock on that door…"
As you can see, for the Roma family life in such a palace was not easy, but finally a light appeared at the end of the tunnel.
For them it was a great day, that.
The three called it the time of revenge.
Nothing extraordinary, telling the truth.
They had just learned that a family had purchased the basement beneath them.
To know they can get someone to let off steam was a wonderful joy…



Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.



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Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Berlusconi confidence vote speech: text and video preview

Stories and News No. 236

"You see too what is the situation of these days. We are facing very important must-pass obstacles in everyone's interest. I am faced with a document that will get the majority vote of the parliament in order to move forward…"
These are some of the things that Silvio Berlusconi said by phone to his friend Pierino Gelmini, on the party of the drug abuse rehabilitation centre Comunità Incontro (Community Encounter), where the undersecretary of Prime Minister Carlo Giovanardi was awarded with the "Madonna of the smile" prize.
Apart from the only logical explanation for such recognition – if the Madonna thinks of Giovanardi, she can only laugh… - I have another scoop.
I could write a post on the meaning of coherence in President of Chamber of Deputies Gianfranco Fini and his friends voting the confidence to a person like Silvio, after having finally started to separate from him.
However, as I already said in the past, if they were coherent they would never have been allied with Berlusconi.
From the beginning, and not only when the share of the Prime Minister has begun to decline...
But let’s back to the scoop I am going to publish.
The following are video and text of tomorrow Silvio’s speech to Italian Chamber of deputies.
It seems like a madcap farce, isn’t it?
Anyway, what is not in this story?

The Story:

Mariastella Gelmini: (entering with a scream of terror) Silvio, they want to kill you! You are accountable for the decline of the country.
Silvio: I am accountable for the decline?
Mara Carfagna: Silvio, persuade the Parliament with one of your usual talk.
Silvio: Very well, I will speak with the parliament, but don't leave me alone… Stay behind me…
(He moves but the sudden screams make him hurry back) Ah, no… my allies are ignorant… they want the money…
(He repeats the action and again downgrades) I know what to do! The people of freedom are mine… God gave me a light: Eureka! Eureka! Who cares! I have them in my hands… If I entertain them, they are mine…
(He reaches the place, people still cry and he tells a joke about his former ally Gianfranco Fini. Some laugh, but others continue to scream)
Silvio: Stupid… Ignoble mob! Is this the reward for the sacrifices I made for you? Retreat, show to be men and tomorrow Italy will reborn more beautiful and superb than before…
People of Freedom: Bravo!
Silvio: Thank you.
(To Gelmini and Carfagna) They liked that word… before. The people of freedom, when hear a difficult word, love you… Now again: more beautiful and superb than before.
People of Freedom: Bravo!
Silvio: (faster, trying to surprise them) more beautiful and superb than before…
People of Freedom: Bravo!
Silvio: More beautiful… thank you!
People of Freedom: Bravo!
Silvio: …thank you!
People of Freedom: Bravo!
Silvio: (making the gesture to say the word before, but he did not say it)
People of Freedom: Bravo!
Silvio: Bravo!
People of Freedom: Thank you!
Silvio: Do you see how my people are? When they used to say bravo, even if you didn’t anything, you're always good…

Free adaptation of "Nerone" (Satire on Roman Emperor Nero), by Ettore Petrolini.



Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.



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Monday, September 27, 2010

UN ambassador first contact with aliens: Berlusconi proposal

Stories and News No. 235

When I read it I thought it was a joke and I still have doubts whether it is a true story or not.
Apparently, the UN is about to appoint an ambassador for relations with the aliens.
The person that seems to be chosen is the Malaysian astrophysicist Mazlan Binti Othman, director of the United Nations Office for Outer Space Affairs, UNOOSA.
Well, it is a strange fact, but never as Berlusconi's reaction to the striking United Nations initiative.
You may not believe it, but the Italian Prime Minister was surprised that he was still not consulted in the choice of the ambassador.
You see, a man like him, is ever surrounded by people who are alien to all that, on the contrary, should be unquestionable: democracy, equality before the law and respect for human rights, just to name three at random.
So, as soon as he read the news, Silvio has made a meeting and after a long huddle he proposed the perfect candidate for this delicate role.
The latter is the worthy representative of Italian recent politics in dealing with people coming from afar.
And who is far, far than the aliens?
Scoop of this blog, here's the first interview to the Italian nominee: Mario Borghezio.

The Story:

Blog: Mr. Borghezio, good morning.
MB: Good morning.
Blog: What do you think of this UN embassy on aliens?
MB: That’s an act of sheer stupidity and vile and insidious allegiance with Islamic invasion.
Blog: Islamic…? How do you know if aliens are Muslims? We don’t know them…
MB: They’re not Catholic, so they are necessarily Islamic.
Blog: Yes… listen, as a possible ambassador to the UN for the relationship with the aliens, what policies do you provides to welcome them to our planet?
MB: Welcome? We’ll give to the bastard illegal immigrants thousand and thousand kick ass.
Blog: Illegal immigrants?
MB: Sure, they’re not Padani. As I said time ago, Padania is a political, cultural and economic well-known in the world country and, I now add, famous in the whole universe; although the ragged political class of the South pretends to be unaware, while to us the South exists only as a ball and chain, which we painfully bring since 150 years.
Blog: So you plan to implement an expulsive strategy against aliens?
MB: Expulsive?! These nasty barbs, these puppets with the cloak, we take them by the beard and drove them away kicking their ass.
Blog: Aliens? Aliens with beard and cloak? Does your Party have any exclusive information on extraterrestrials? I was thinking it was an experimental program. We have no idea what kind of physical structure these creatures have…
MB: Maybe. I only know that the first Italy gold medals at last Olympics games were awarded to North athletes this shows the ethnic superiority of Padani.
Blog: Last question: what contribution do you think the aliens will give to our community?
MB: What contribution?! Maybe they want to say something about the garbage in Naples too. It’s true that in Padania we have a simple solution: it would be enough to give the Campania and the South to the Crown of Spain: they already had the Kingdom of the Two Sicilies! We are not fond of the Naples rubbish! Let someone else take it!

PS: Maybe this is not true and all is completely invented. Unluckily one thing is certain: every day this man sit in the European Parliament



Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.



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Friday, September 24, 2010

Rai vs Santoro and Dandini: usual farce and Berlusconi enjoys

Stories and News No. 234

First, a premise, jut to be clear: I like Anno Zero (Year Zero) and appreciate Michele Santoro, although this is obvious, if we compare his talk show with the rubbish that the Rai offers in these days.
I also like Serena Dandini.
I've always considered her a very intelligent and ironic woman, a combination that particularly attracts me.
However, Parla con me (Talk to me), her last product, does not make me a fun and I have no problem to say that I liked very much what she did before;
What she now doesn’t or perhaps can no longer do.
In my humble opinion, this is the real problem.
It would be too easy and, for this reason, incredibly naive to be here writing a post to defend the virtual heroes, victims of TV mobbing, under the aegis of freedom of expression.
An avalanche of requests to sign on Facebook pages defending Anno Zero and Santoro, Parla con me and Serena Dandini reached me.
That is a classic.
There are people that still invite me to stay with Roberto Saviano, Marco Travaglio and even Gianfranco Fini.
Me? With Gianfranco Fini?!
I do not turn on the PC to connect to the web and feel part of a bad copy of the world viewers.
The network is wonderful only when it manages to be alternative to the controlled common thought.
Let’s go to the point: since how many years do we watch Santoro and Dandini on Italian TV? Since how many years do we hear of harassment, attacks and barriers against their talk shows?
And since how many years do we see them back on video?
This aspect is essential: throughout this time, their declared enemy, the dictator Berlusconi has almost always won the election?!
So, what are we talking about?!
This is just a sham, a spectacle, indeed: it is a soap opera.
Always the same episode: the bad villain vs the heroes.
That is not real.
Nor is it in 3D…
In the real world a sea of our citizens is becoming increasingly poor.
In the real world a sea of our fellow citizens lose the job.
In the real world a sea of our fellow citizens is invisible.
I want to watch these people on Italian TV, every day!
And with them, all those who cannot do anymore…

The Story:

As one who is accused of stealing votes to everybody even if he is not candidate at all…


As one who seriously is dangerous for the system and so seriously was censored…


And especially as one who, even if it was possible, it is too late ...


PS: That is like playing at the three-card game in a square: you try to beat the smart wizard and in the meantime someone else pulls you wallet…


Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.



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Thursday, September 23, 2010

Prison suicides: letter to the next

Stories and News No. 233

As all of you, reading the news, there are some that strike me more than others.
One of these is certainly on the suicides of detainees.
I do not want to talk about the bad conditions in the prisons, nonetheless it deserved much more than a single post.
I read that yesterday an only twenty-two years old guy cut his life.
It seems to be the 45th prisoner in Italy to kill himself since the beginning of the year.
According to the Ristretti site, over the past ten years in my country almost 1,700 prisoners died, more than 1/3 with suicide; that means more than 500 and less than 600.
The aspect that most impresses me and makes me think at the same time is thinking of someone who is already paying by imprisonment for actions that society has considered illegal and that individually decides to condemn himself the death penalty.
As if the arrest, the trial and the subsequent incarceration were not enough.
As if only death was able to pay the bill.
Of course, I am talking about his personal bill, because - I repeat – he is just paying the one with the rest of us.
This happens in a country where 308 so-called honorable guys - very well salaried by the people, made yesterday another crime with a bandaged face by a secret ballot.
It is not right.
I know that most of the time that is how things go.
Life is almost never fair.
However, I always have ahead an empty page and a full of words belly.
There I can dream to change the story with another one…

The Story:

Dear…
I do not know who you are and what your name is.
I just know that you could be the forty-sixth.
The next.
Stop…
Wait a moment.
I am nobody too, you know?
And believe me: I am not much more innocent than you.
Nay, I'm just a voice from the outside world, the voice of someone who was much better lucky than you.
Listen for a moment.
And during this time put away the razor blade.
Yes, that one you hold in your hand.
You have a sheet? A belt? A towel?
Whatever the object which you are about to kill your breath with is, get it away from your neck and please, give me a minute of your life, the one you just condemned to be the last.
I do not know how old you are.
I do not know you're young or old.
I do not know if you are young girl or middle age woman.
And I do not want to deceive you.
I will not tell you that life is beautiful.
But I swear on my life, even for a minute it can not be just beautiful, but wonderful and when you are in that extraordinary moment, you realize that all the time and suffering you passed have the worth of that moment.
Life is a moment.
I do not want to trick.
I will not tell that moment comes for free, raining from a benevolent heaven or by the grace of charitable humanity.
Sometimes it happens, but it is rare.
Rather, I give you my word that each one of us, if he sacrifices every drop of sweat, every heartbeat, every step of his journey to realize his aspirations, he is alive forever, everywhere and forever.
You will never ne sure of reaching the goal and the podium.
Moreover, nobody in this world is.
I will not say that if and when you will leave those walls you will find a sea of people to welcome you with open arms.
Perhaps, among many indifferent gazes, the day will come when you will meet someone that will love you; or just somebody who will hear your words.
Maybe a long time will pass before it will happen; a very long time.
But that moment, that one, will be your wonderful minute.
And as I said, it is worth to survive a life to enjoy that time.



Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.



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Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Giovanardi: Gay adoptions cause child trafficking

Stories and News No. 231

"Gay adoptions cause more children trafficking".
Tuesday's Quiz: Who said this crap?
B: The man who said that in Italy a sick child is treated while in Netherlands is killed.
C: The author of Stories of extraordinary injustice, an ‘indispensable’ essay denouncing the ‘crimes’ of magistrates against the most honest party in Italian history: the Italian Christian Democrats.
And who’s except the Secretary to the Prime Minister Berlusconi, Mr. Carlo Giovanardi?
Do you think I was hurry defining his words a crap?
Indeed Giovanardi gives also 'data': "Where gay adoptions are allowed, as in the U.S. and Brazil, this phenomenon of child trafficking has is very increased."
So, I have not even started the post that I am full of doubts.
Was he right or not?
Has what he says a sense?
Okay, I accept the challenge.
If his claim has is minimal logical, I will find it.
And of course I will rely on the only instrument that I immodestly enjoy to use:

The Story:

This is an old story that in some traditions handed down orally.
Not in Italy, at least not officially.
But in my country we lend ear to what most normal people say, considering the daily reality for what it is, and not listening the paid by us idiots telling craps, we may have a chance to hear stories like this.
On day Aristotle was approached by a young pupil.
The latter had a grandmother, who, before her last breath, uttered this sentence: Carlo Giovanardi, gay adoptions and child trafficking.
Knowing that his master was a great logician, probably the first in history, the boy went to him and asked the meaning of those words.
"What do you mean by gay?" Aristotle rightly asked.
"Grandpa," the boy mocked, "You're too old, you know? Gay means homosexual!"
"And why don’t say homosexual?!" The famous philosopher said irritated.
The young man shouted and stepped back.
He knew that when Aristotle was irritated he used to spit.
"Anyway," the brilliant thinker said reaching the blackboard and start writing the mysterious phrase, "Let’s see what could be the meaning of this prophecy..."
After several mumble, the master said: "From the end: child trafficking is defined as the recruitment, transportation, transfer, harbouring, or receipt of children for the purpose of exploitation. That’s very horrible, my friend."
"Yes."
"Let’s go forward: the gay adoptions are the adoptions of children by same-sex couples. The debate on it is very hot. For my part I do not have a definite opinion. Do you?"
"My father abused me since I was minor and my mother drank from morning to evening. I would have preferred even that my parents voted Berlusconi and I said everything with that. To me, gay or not, if they just had not hurt me would have been much..."
"Who is Berlusconi?"
"No, that’s another Grandma's prophecy..."
"I see. However, we are the last element, the most singular: Carlo Giovanardi. Who is he? Did your grandmother say anything? "
"No…"
Aristotle began to mull over and after a few minutes the young man cleared his voice loudly to attract the attention of the philosopher.
The last time he had turned his back to reflect remained so for almost two hours.
"Eureka!" Aristotle finally screamed. "In this sentence - Carlo Giovanardi, gay adoptions and trafficking of children, the three elements have only one link from the logical, semantic or any other reasonable point of view, that gives meaning to everything."
"What is it?"
"Gay adoptions increase child trafficking."
"Really?"
"Yes, indeed, in this particular case, children do not even wait for someone to take them: they flee the house alone; but only in one eventuality."
"Which one?"
"In the only able to make the phrase your grandmother coherent: if one of the gay parents is Carlo Giovanardi..."



Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.



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Monday, September 20, 2010

Berlusconi and Mafia Boss friends

Stories and News No. 230

I read this morning that in his frantic search of the minimum numbers to govern, Berlusconi has found encouraging responses from Totò Cuffaro and other close to the latter Sicilian members of UDC Party, obviously proposing them something they could not refuse.
Union of Christian and Centre Democrats leader Casini with apparent indifference commented: "They can go wherever they want, our surveys are growing."
Have you noticed? They are all growing.
Whatever happens, whether they win or lose elections, there is always a good thing to point out.
That’s a fundamental aspect.
Do you want to know what it is? They still have the chair under their ass.
Of course, some of you, hearing of Sicily and Cuffaro associated with Berlusconi, could do a superficial association of ideas: Mafia friends help Boss Berlusconi.
The Mafia is there in time of need or when the godfather calls the mafia answers.
You - and me with you – are only terminally naive.
The following story proves that:

The Story:

I won’t tell you my name.
I know how these things end up, people talk, talk too much and always inappropriately.
I just say I sit in parliament.
I am an honorable person.
I’m a center man.
I’m ever there in the middle.
In medio stat virtus, the virtue is in the middle, so the Latins said.
And they said fine.
Because only standing in that middle, wherever it is, you can keep and protect your virtue.
What virtue? What questions…
Catholic ones: prudence, justice, fortitude and temperance.
Prudence in choosing friends and especially your enemies.
Justice, impartial and implacable with friends and enemies too, if they had to miss their word.
Fortitude in the face of all enemies and in any way they seek to undermine what binds you to your friends.
And finally temperance, a so necessary dress if you can’t distinguish between friends and enemies.
During my long political career I have been accused of everything, but what more makes me laugh, even today, is that I am a mobster.
A mobster…
Maybe is that just because I was accused for the crime of competition with the Mafia in the investigation on the relationship between clan and local politics?
Only because prosecutors believe I informed a Mafia boss on investigations concerning him?
Perhaps is that because I was sentenced to seven years for that?
Or simply because almost everyone who’s next me had similar accusations?
This is ridiculous and you know better than me.
The Mafia is a literary and cinematographic invention.
Writers and directors need it to sell books and films.
The reality, the real life, the facts are different.
How long do you listen about mafia in this country?
How many years have you heard the newspapers and intellectuals minds bring up the Mafia to give a name to what they believe wrong?
And how many governments have passed and nothing has changed?
It's time to grow, to open your eyes and grow.
If there was this Mafia, it would be everywhere.
Not just in Sicily, not just with scoppola and lupara and not only in the parliament center.
It would be all over the country, even at your home.
Look around.
Look at your family photos.
If there is a mafia, you belong to it.
Or you died.



Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.



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Friday, September 17, 2010

Pisacane School immigrant children are not Italians: racism? No, idiocy

Stories and News No. 229

"Although these children were born in Italy is not wrong to consider them foreign. That’s a master but also cultural issue…"
These are words and music by Laura Marsilio, PdL city and school educational policies councilor of Rome.
I was undecided on this post and I still am.
My doubts are in choosing the best way to comment on the striking out by the councilor.
In the past, when I was a little feel-good, I would have defined her statement as ignorant.
I'm not a feel-good and tolerant guy.
I’m not ever been the latter.
That’s why the right and often even to the left don’t like what I say.
I have never tolerated the ignorance and especially today I do not tolerate stupidity.
That especially is when it has the power to take decisions on my children’s life.
I hope it is clear to you that come in this blog that I am won’t ever tell you lies,
as we are all equal.
I’m not equal to Ministers Calderoli or Bondi.
The fact is that I won’t’ stay here telling you that children of immigrants born in Italy are Italians.
Maybe they are or maybe not.
Maybe not, I hope for them.
I unfortunately am.
Luckily, I am part of this Italy, not Dante Alighieri, Leonardo da Vinci and Galileo Galilei land.
Italy which today I belong to has leaders like Berlusconi, Bossi, Gasparri and that Laura Marsilio, if we just refer to the city of Rome.
It's a cultural issue, she says.
Hey, People of Freedom, Berlusconi’s friends: what the hell do you know about culture issue?!

The Story:

Once upon a time there was a land that we can, indeed, we inevitably must call Italy.
In the land we inevitably must call Italy there was a school.
The Pisacane School.
In the Pisacane School there was a class.
In the class there were 30 students.
29 of them were born in Italy sons of immigrants.
One was the son of Italians and born in Italy.
In a few words, he was pure blood.
His name was Benito, no, Romano…, indeed, Silvio.
Yes, Silvio, the prototype of the average Italian man of the third millennium.
The born in Italy sons of immigrants – called foreigners by the realist people and the new Italian by the feel-good ones - were Ousmane, Traian, Fatima, etc.., not Pasquale, Gennaro and Antonio.
Do you really want to compare them?
The first day of school, the teacher, Mrs. Marsilio, came into the class and was horrified.
"It's aberrant," the woman thought watching that sea of brown skins, curly hairs and almond eyes. "A class with only foreigners is aberrant, because integration means exchange and not only isolation…"
However, suddenly a light appeared from the end of the nightmare tunnel while she saw a face covered with a soothing pale skin in the last desk in the middle of the room.
"Y-You…" she excited said pointing him with a trembling finger. "W-What’s your name?"
"Mohamed," the near classmate answered.
"Not you!" She screamed with a shrill little voice. "The one next to you!"
"Silvio…" he shyly said.
The teacher had almost an orgasm for the joy.
"Silvio!" She ecstatically thought. "Maybe all is not lost. The integration is still possible…"
"Dear," the teacher said with a sweet voice, unable to take her eyes off him, "come here to explain to your foreigners fellows what Italy is, what to be Italians means and what our culture is!"
Although he was not so happy for the invite, Silvio accepted the task.
That morning his parents had repeated many times that it’s important to make a good impression on the teacher since the beginning.
So cleared his throat and spoke.
He spoke of the Italy he knew.
He spoke of what he had heard about Italians by his parents, relatives and neighbors.
He talked about the soccer player Antonio Cassano, who would have been useful to the national team, because maybe he is not a phenomenon but he certainly would have played better than Cannavaro and others.
He spoke of the Big Brother and other reality shows new seasons that he was waiting to watch.
He spoke of the Sanremo Festival and that he still wanted Paolo Bonolis as host.
He spoke of Miss Italia and he agreed she was beautiful, but for him Elisabetta Canalis was hotter.
He particularly spoke of X Factor and how he didn’t like Anna Tatangelo.
Even she was a very beautiful girl.
And the teacher relaxed.
Long live Italy.



Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.



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Thursday, September 16, 2010

Fascist Sarkozy sends Roma to Luxembourg and Berlusconi copies

Stories and News No. 228

First of all I want to point out something that maybe deserved a single post:
Fascists? Italian fascists, do you hear me? Right people, are you listening? I’m not talking to those new moderate friends of immigrants-that-early-will-vote. Indeed, you too. I’m referring to you all, those of honor, homeland and family: how can you accept a government that lets its fellow citizens shot by 'cruel Saracens' without moving a finger?
Ah, I know; if the Left had got the power, it would have been different, isn’t it?
Luckily we have Right leaders.
Right…
What kind of Right are you?!
Sure you're not Sarkozy Right.
That's right 'I like'.
Don’t get me wrong, I say that I like because it makes me angry and provokes my sincere indignation.
On the contrary, Berlusconi, La Russa and Gasparri Right causes only one thing to those who have a minimum maturity and above all dignity, whether a supporter of honor, homeland and family or not: shame.
The anger I feel is for those intelligent persons who voted for them.
Anyway, let’s back to Sarkozy: "Roma should be sent to Luxembourg".
Oh, this is the way a fascist leader responds to European Commission Vice President and Justice Chief Viviane Reding, guilty of daring to criticize the recent French expulsion of Roma.
And what does Berlusconi?
What does the Italian Right leader?
He does what he’s ever able to do: he copies

The Story:

Once upon a time there was a school class.
In the class there were two students.
One was called Sarko and the other Berlo.
Some of you might ask: “But what kind of names are these?!”
Well, you have not heard anything.
The two were together at the same desk, at the first one.
The fact was that they were one in two.
I mean one of the students.
I could say one brain too, being honest, but you’ll better see going forward.
Low as they were, at the second desk they would have been invisible to the teacher.
That morning the latter decided to propose to the class a lesson on the Roma people history.
A people with ancient origins and that over the centuries has had to endure slavery, deportation and extermination.
As soon as the teacher announced the theme of the lesson, Sarko raised his right hand.
"Speak," she invited him.
"Mrs. Teacher," he said, "Roma people are dirty and they steal."
The woman was not surprised by the student and after an overview of his companions she made this fundamental question: "Does anyone think like Sarko?"
No one spoke.
However, before the teacher could replicate the observation of the pupil, the classmate of the latter raised his left hand and then frowned as if trying to remember something important, to quickly pull it down and on the right one.
"Please," she invited him.
"Teacher," Berlo said smiling, "Rum people are dirty. And ... and yes, they steal."
Inevitably, all the comrades laughed, even Sarko.
Berlo also laughed, unaware of what was the real reason and believed this was due to his alleged overwhelming sympathy.
Only the teacher did not laugh.
Perhaps that happened because she was of Jewish origin.
Or maybe because she knew that Roma or rum, the ignorant are always dangerous...



Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.



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