Friday, October 29, 2010

Berlusconi, with Ruby 2,5 million people in distress

Stories and News No. 259

"I made a phone call to help a person in distress,” Berlusconi said about Ruby and Bunga Bunga fact. “She told a tragic story, I tried to give her to someone in custody".
In addition, our prime minister has rejected the easy sarcasm on his last catchphrase, calling it a serious matter.
Well, if yesterday I was joking, hearing these words, I do not want anymore.
The Bunga Bunga is a serious matter?!
My thoughts are with the people that, at this time in Italy, as well as Ruby, live in distress.
They are many.
I hope for them that they have not ever voted for him or once and for all they will open their eyes…

The Story:

Once upon a time there was a strange land.
The land was strange because the chief was strange too.
Think that he said that Bunga Bunga was a serious matter.
The other normal lands of the world had normal chiefs.
For them serious things were others.
Such as the unemployment.
This does not mean that they did not Bunga Bunga.
But if a normal chief of a normal land dedicated his attention to the Bunga Bunga, rather than the really serious things, in a short time he would have been kicked.
You might tell me: maybe the strange land had not these problems.
Quite the contrary.
A survey of the CGIA - Association of Small Craft Enterprises of Mestre, revealed that the unemployed in the strange land were more than 2,5 million.
Besides, according to Eurostat, in the top 12 regions with the highest youth unemployment rate among the 271 examined, there were 4 of the strange land.
Now, I challenge anyone to deny that unemployment is a terrible tragedy in the life of any person.
That is a serious matter, very serious.
One day the chief of the strange land said he would help people in distress.
He didn’t have to say that.
Millions of people went to the streets to hug him and get his help…



Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.



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Thursday, October 28, 2010

Berlusconi made bunga bunga with young girl: the evidences

Stories and News No. 258

Yes, also today I have my scoop.
Let us start from the beginning.
We may read everywhere in the media about yet another hard story with Silvio Berlusconi.
The names of journalist Emilio Fede, TV agent Lele Mora and the Lombardy Regional Councillor Nicole Minetti, known for being the premier's dental hygienist, came out too.
All emerged from statements made by a Moroccan underage girl named Ruby, about her alleged visits to the Silvio’s villa in Arcore.
Above all, to attract the attention of the people of the web is a mysterious ritual called bunga bunga, practiced by Berlusconi and his female guests during the parties.
"Silvio told me that the formula was copied by Gaddafi: a rite of his African harem…" Ruby said.
From what I read there would be also some investigations and the crime is incitement to prostitution.
Let us the judiciaries do their job.
I write and tell stories, this is mine.
Here are the evidences that fit not only Berlusconi, but also everyone…

The Story:

Take a seventy-four years old man…


Think that the old man publicly often flaunts his passion for the women, falling into gaffes unworthy of his position, not to mention the age…


Imagine he is repeatedly dragged into sexy scandals, alleged relations with escorts and compromising situations in his home…


Add the fact that even his wife - now former - accused him of his questionable acquaintances of young girls…


Then take another old man, this time seventy-nine years old…


Think that he is employed by the first one and that he likes the attendance of young girls too…


So take one third man, less senior than the others, but ever aged, fifty-five years old…


Let’s say that attending young girls often happens to him…


Then take a twenty-five years old girl…


Think that, among other things, she is the dental hygienist of the first old man, after a past carreer as a showgirl…


Finally, imagine that a very young girl, close friend to the hygienist, required to custody by the third man, seen from the second old man in the first one’s hold house, accuses the latter of having done Bunga Bunga with her.
Do you need I tell you what the Bunga Bunga is?
Do you really need evidences to believe her?
And let us also that everything is invented, do you think that may change the moral of this story?


Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.



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Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Halloween vs Holyween 2010 costumes comparison

Stories and News No. 257

Today I read about an event that apparently exists since years and I confess: I did not know.
It is Holyween, the Catholic answer / challenge on Halloween.
The official website define it a way to save the eve of November 1 from the attacks of transgressive trends by neo-pagan and Celtic cults.
It was created by the project Sentinelle del mattino (morning sentinels).
I read that this is a network engaged in the Italy from 1998 to disseminate innovative experiences for young people.
This is what Andrea Brugnoli, the promoter, says of Holyween: "We want to upholster the cities by the faces of beauty in front of a world inhabited by monsters, and in a night where many young people flirt with horror, we want to show the best image of our land: the faces of its saints. "
Also according to Brugnoli, Halloween is "a teenagers thing, but it produces each year a huge turnover for who benefits and brings into the city much disorder and eventually leaves a carpet of crap, always on the backs of kids who fall for it."
Well, I could argue that these curses come from a site that has a beautiful online shop of various gadgets, including the essential sentinels badge, which is presented as a discreet, elegant and easy way to evangelize.
Moreover, the E-shop does not seem so innovative.
However, I will stop here, I'm too partisan.
Not because I am a Halloween lover and neither my being a fervent agnostic and a little bit anticlerical guy is what makes me partial, but because I am a horror fan, especially literature and film.
For this reason, I never willingly bear who inaccurately speak on these topics.
Therefore, since we are talking about teenage thing, I leave to you guys the right to rule on the two ways of living the night of October 31…

The Story:

Holyween urges you to hang pictures of the faces of the saints on every window, door and balcony.
The most popular of last year was Padre Pio…


Halloween, like every year, invites you to wear increasingly terrifying costumes, but with the witch you can never be wrong…


In Holyween many parishes organize marches and prayer vigils, with the motto a saint in every church…


In Halloween many pubs propose masquerade parties until late at night…


Holyween want to save the eve of November 1 from the attacks of transgressive trends by neo-pagan and Celtic cults…


Halloween does not want to save anyone, it just want to be fun…


The choice is yours.


Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.



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Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Paul the Octpus dead: powers to Deborah the female mice

Stories and News No. 256

I just learned about the death of Paul the octopus.
Now, I understand that sometimes I can be cynical and I take this opportunity to apologize if sometimes I offended the feelings of someone.
However, dear animalists, forgive me, but seeing all the attention the media give to Paul’s end - with all the daily human tragedies, I can not avoid to write something irreverent.
Irreverent…
Mine is a real journalistic scoop.
Some of my sources told me that the German octopus, before exhaling his last water breath, have transferred its powers to another creature, chosen as a worthy heir of his divination.
It is a female mice, long ago emigrated to Germany in search of fortune and in particular a better tomorrow.
Its origins are unclear and the man who discovered it - the cleaner of the aquarium where Paul lived, has named Deborah, in memory of his grandmother recently passed away.
Deborah, unlike the octopus, is not fond of football
She – I like to speak of her as a lady, is interested in politics, which makes her predictions even more interesting.
So, luckily, I managed to make the first official interview to this extraordinary animal:

The Story:

Blog: Miss Deborah the female mice, can I call you just Deborah?
Deborah: Sure, better without the female mice…
Blog: Yes, I'm sorry… can you talk about your new powers?
Deborah: What can I say? Here everything has changed. Before I was only an immigrant mouse, who took away jobs from local rats and now…
Blog: Now?
Deborah: Now I am a star. Newspapers, television, and also a movie.
Blog: A movie? Can you tell us anything?
Deborah: My agent advised me not to say more.
Blog: Agent? Do you already have an agent?
Deborah: Yes, the cleaner that found me.
Blog: Listen, let’s back to your new capacity, I knew that your predictions are about politics. Do you confirm?
Deborah: Yeah. Let’s go the point: what do you want to know?
Blog: Who will win the midterm elections in the United States on November 2?
Deborah: The Republicans.
Blog: Are you sure?
Deborah: Yes I do. Although there is no need to guess a female mice to understand it.
Blog: Why?
Deborah: Because Obama has not scheduled any war. USA have left Iraq and are about to end Afghanistan missions. This is a problem, since the United States and its allies always need a great war somewhere in the world. And you know, the U.S. Republicans start every great war.
Blog: Wow, you make it easy…
Deborah: Do not exagerate, I have the powers of the octopus, but I still have the brain of a mouse.
Blog: I see. Look, on Italy, what will happen in the near future to Berlusconi and his government?
Deborah: Gianfranco Fini will be the leader of the center-right and the new prime minister.
Blog: What about Berlusconi?
Deborah: He will be President of the Republic.
Blog: Really?
Deborah: Sure. But this does not take a magic mouse to know too. Silvio is interested in the high offices as me every kind of cheese…
Blog: You know, I do not like the future scene you describe…
Deborah: This is the biggest dilemma of life, as Paul telepathically told me before sending its powers: you can make your choices basing them on the advice of an animal or…
Blog: Or?
Deborah: Or turn up the ass and try to change the outcome of the game.



Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.



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Monday, October 25, 2010

Wikileaks Iraq documents: Italy soldier killed

Stories and News No. 255

It was inevitable that sooner or later, among the huge number of documents on the Iraq war recently published by Wikileaks, some revelation on Italy emerged.
Today two news belie the Italian army and the Government releases on the facts.
According to the former, at the beginning of August 2004 Italian soldiers blew an ambulance, killing four people, including a pregnant woman.
That contradicts the official report, which speaks of a generic car that did not stop at the check point, also responding to the fire.
However, the second news particularly affects my attention.
For Julian Assange’s website, the Italian soldier Salvatore Marracino did not shot himself because of his weapon jam.
He was killed.
In 'warglish', he has been accidentally shot by friendly fire

The Story:

Friendly fire, so they call me.
Yes, you perfectly understood.
I am not an oxymoron, as some insinuate.
If so, then what about humanitarian war, preventive invasion or smart bombs?
I burn, therefore I exist.
I am merely not a matter of language.
Moreover, I have no intention of making fun with words.
I am a murderer.
I am a murderer because I killed and I still do.
That is simple and no doubtful, at least in my opinion.
I started to claim victims long ago and, you may believe it or not, I still have a clean criminal record.
In 1801, during the Battle of Algeciras, I used the darkness of night and cunning of the British to confuse two Spanish ships, killing about 1700 sailors.
Anyway, this is nothing.
Think that only in the First World War, France estimated that at least 75,000 soldiers have died by my hand.
In the Second world war, I started my job just five days after the start of the latter, when two British airmen mistook two American planes for Germans, causing the death of one of the pilots.
Needless to say that the two airmen were acquitted.
In the Vietnam War I have killed at least eight thousand times.
Someone have also made a film.
I see that you like me because time passed and you requested more and more my performance.
During the first Gulf War, I cut off the lives of at least 148 U.S. soldiers, but this has not deterred their governments to send more to Afghanistan.
What a great working there.
And I can not avoid to quote what you called the Tarnak farm incident.
I remember it how my four Canadian soldiers murder, but of course it depends on the point of view.
For me they are two: the victim and the assassin, that would be me.
However, I now understand that for you things are not so simple.
As some of you, I knew of the Italian soldier by Wikileaks.
What can I say?
You may choose what truth you prefer.
One thing is certain: it is not the first, and if things continues to work so, it will not be my last murder…



Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.



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Friday, October 22, 2010

Naples Rubbish Berlusconi drastic solution: money

Stories and News No. 254

When the going gets tough the tough get going, the legendary John Belushi said in Animal House.
And what happen when the garbage problem in Naples has gotten out of hand, as the premier Berlusconi said?
Simple, he enters the scene and solves everything.
Well, perhaps this is hard also for a Silvio’s adorer.
Let’s just say that he enters the scene.
The Italian hero of the third millennium, after the Council of Ministers, convened a summit with exception members: the Interior Minister Roberto Maroni, the Environment Minister Prestigiacomo, the Head of Civil Protection Bertolaso, the trustful Gianni Letta, the President of Campania Region Caldoro and Economy Minister Tremonti.
Silvio has already said that to end the civil war that is gripping the province of Naples he propose a drastic solution.
I read that it consists of some economic incentives.
Of course, when we have to pay money is not always easy to agree.
Here is the more or less real chronicle of the crucial meeting…

The Story:

Berlusconi sits at the head of an elegant rectangular table, next to Gianni Letta, on a visibly lower chair.
Chair...
Let's face it: it is a stool.
To the right of the Prime Minister there are Bertolaso and Caldoro and in front of them Prestigiacomo and Maroni.
At the opposite of the table there is Tremonti.
Letta, after a hint by Silvio, starts to speak: "So, without any unnecessary preamble, you all know that the situation in Campania is worrying..."
Then crossed for a moment the look of Berlusconi and adds: "Let's say that the situation has gotten out of hand…"
Minister Maroni tries to express his opinion: "Well, we really are acting..."
"Those scoundrels of Anno Zero!" Silvio interrupts him slamming his hand on the table. "Did you watch them last night? Tell me if this is not a criminal use of television! And RAI General Director Masi? What the hell is that Masi doing, there? Now he woke up! He should have done something before..."
"Yes…" Letta comments, trying to bring the discussion to the point. "Returning to the rubbish problem, before the EU intervention, we must act in a decisive…"
"Regarding this," Tremonti says, "My ministry considers preferable to avoid European Union…"
"And those of Report?" Berlusconi screams, completely ignoring Tremonti. "Do you think is a normal thing that these people should stick their nose into the private life of the Prime Minister? I am rich, what’s the problem? I'm rich and I buy the houses where and how I want! Why do I have to account to these people? They’re jealous, that's what they are..."
"Of course, Mr. president," Letta says, trying to calm him and focus once again on the garbage issue. "Now let's decide the next move. The country expects a concrete proposal..."
"I agree" Prestigiacomo says. "But we must not overlook the issue of the National Park of Vesuvius, that is a protected area ..."
"And what about Agcom?!" Silvio cries again. "The TG1 and TG4 are in favor of the government. What’s new?! I do not understand. Innocenzi is no more with them, they have Martusciello, now, not Vendola…"
"Hem", Letta interrupts him, interpreting the common thought. "Excuse me, President, but you was speaking of a drastic solution…"
"What?"
"The rubbish problem…" Caldoro says.
"The garbage in Campania…" Bertolaso adds.
"Oh, yes…" Silvio distracted obeserves. "As I said, we need a drastic solution, the usual one…"
"What?" Tremonti asks, after an interminable pause.
"The usual," Silvio annoyed says. "the economic incentives..."
Tremonti is going to argue but Berlusconi anticipates him: "Don’t worry, I pay…"
"And who we give this money to?" Caldoro asks. "To the people of Naples province?"
"To the people…" Silvio corrects. "What an exaggeration."
"And who?" Prestigiacomo candidly asks.
Silvio ignores her again and gets up to leave, but before leaving he says to Letta: "Ah, look, some of us have to claim that behind the protesters is not the mafia, but… those… who we always say? What are they called?
"Anarcho-insurgents," Letta answers.
"Exactly, those ones. And make disappear from the TV news the word Camorra. The war is over. "
Go in peace…



Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.



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Thursday, October 21, 2010

Naples rubbish clash police protest: first victims

Stories and News No. 253

The war - because this is it - between police and demonstrators near Naples, in Terzigno, is becoming more fierce.
The first video I saw left me speechless.
Not because I am particularly vulnerable to human violence.
It always impresses me, but because I believe that in difficult times as now our country needs more than anything else collaboration among people.
The opposite of what happens in many other parts of Italy too.
I will not get into details of the rubbish problem in Campania.
In my humble opinion, the story is so complex, with so widespread and cross-cutting accountabilities; it can not be faced with a single post.
However, stopping my attention to the actual issue - the placement of trash landfills near wonders of nature as the Vesuvius National Park is, I could not resist to take a look at what might be at risk.
Of course, the garbage problem mainly concerns people’s health more than natural beauties, but I believe that zooming my blog on a space that is protected area and especially global tourist destination - which means money - can make this post more concrete

The Story:

Here is who might be the first victims of rubbish:
A fox…


A mouse…


A crow…


And a hare…


Yet, it will seem absurd, but losing them will cause lacking in the protected species loved by their murderers…


I whish that in this way they will count up to ten (euro) before create this monster landfills…

(Pictures from the official website of the Park)


Stories and news: “invented” Stories, fruit of my imagination, inspired by “true” media News.



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