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Oldest cat in the world Guinness book of missed records

Stories and News No. 669

According to the updated Guinness Book of Records, the 24 years old female cat Poppy is officially the oldest in the world.
This whole thing of records makes me wish to tell another Guinness story.
Of missed records...

Take the big book, about Guinness with a capital G.
The amazing images and exceptional videos.
All that inevitably viral stuff, able to invade every virtual window, from the PC to the tablet and smartphone.
Put everything aside, just the time of a page.
This one.
Imagine a world.
An entire planet in a book.
Actually, no. The worthy records deserve a real book.
I am referring to a measly little one, a modest thing, one of those paperback you may find abandoned on the dusty floor of the waiting room of an old station.
And I'm not talking about the result of a virtuous book-crossing.
This book is seriously left by accident.
Because that’s the only way you could find it.
Anyway, it has record too.
It is the shortest book in the world.
One page, the only child of unknown parents.
Yes, this page.
Or confusing list.
You won’t read about the oldest cat in the world, here, but the youngest.
So young that he has yet to be born.
It is not sure this will happen, in fact, it is very unlikely.
And he is anything but special, believe me.
However it is precisely for this reason that you will find him here.
Because suddenly and with little effort, he becomes real.
Or special.
Read as the naive presumption of orphaned pages.
However, the cat is not alone here.
There is also the world's slowest child.
So slow, so slow that when he’ll get to the finish line all will be over.
Shows and wars, election campaigns and the world championships.
All festivals and parties in the square.
At an invisible speed he will reach the end of the run and will start laughing with joy.
Because everything will be passed.
From that moment on, things can only get better, right?
Above all, his friend, the youngest cat in the world will enjoy the benefits, so he has yet to be born.
Before the end of the page you will find the clumsiest woman on earth.
A young lady of unspeakable awkwardness.
Just think that can break something even in a completely empty room.
But she has a secret.
As those princesses imprisoned by a spell, there is a way to make her an amazing ballerina.
Which one?
Reading the page that hosts her.
Aloud, whispering or even in mind.
She will appreciate anyway.
Because the hidden dream of all missed record was never arriving first.
They just need to know that also who will not race for the victory can hope to steal people’s eyes.
Just for a little.
As one page.
This one…

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