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Ursula Von Der Leyen Erdogan and the missing chair: the simplest story

Stories and News No. 1235

Once upon a time a German, a Belgian and a Turk. The fairy tale, or joke, could start like this.

But I could also begin by saying: once upon a time a woman and two men. The story would not change. Because it hasn't changed so far and that's exactly the problem.

The plot is simple and the story is short, very short, since it was narrated and consumed until the exhaustion of any listeners.

Yet the ending is always the same: the seated men and the standing, appalled and understandably irritated woman, watching them once again. Because a lot of women are like that. They persist in not getting used to such scenarios and, in my humble opinion, they do more than good.

However, our fairy tale, or joke, could have enjoyed many other developments, each of them preferable to the original.

In one, the Belgian guy stands up and offers his seat to the woman, proving that gentlemen still exist, despite everything.

In another, it is the Turk man who does the same, demonstrating that gentlemen still exist everywhere, despite everything.

In yet another the Belgian lifts his ass and he goes to sit next to the woman, relegated to the sofa. Proving that solidarity between the sexes is still one of the main allies towards gender equality.

In another it is the Turk who raises his posterior to move in the same direction. Proving that solidarity between the sexes is still everywhere the main ally towards gender equality.

In another, then, the two men stand up together and throw away the chairs with an eloquent gesture, to sit down on the ground. As if to say, we apologize for the rudeness and we punish ourselves as a warning to the viewers.

In yet another, the two men, after having thrown their chairs, make a useful use of their muscles to lift the sofa with the woman seated on it. Then they lead both to center stage and settle behind her, to let the reporters immortalize the new scene.

In another the woman, after having witnessed the boorish behavior of both, turns her back on them and leaves the room. But the real revolution that matters is what happens immediately after. Because the cameras and the photographers' flashes follow her outside, leaving the two alone, rightly excluded from the frame they care so much about.

In yet another, facing a scene as old as the world itself, the woman simply does what she has been doing since centuries: she takes care of what she lacks. Therefore, she opens her bag and – among lots of objects she needs every day to compensate the men’s imbecility, she pulls out one of those furniture you must build on your own. Then, under the astonished gazes of those guys, making so much noise, she builds her chair. So she arranges it right between the two and sits there with all the pride and dignity she is capable of.

Nevertheless, I must say that the plot I love the most is the simplest one. The one where there are three goddamn chairs in the room, period. And in that case there would be no need for any more alternate fairy tales and endings with whatsoever changes.

In the meantime, be brave, dear friends, sisters, mothers, women, because the day will come when we will see you occupy that missing chair once and for all...

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My last book: A morte i razzisti (Death to racists)